DEAR SUSAN: People shouldn't get hung up on the age of one's would-be partner; they should focus on whether they're attracted to that person. It's silly to expect all women (or men) in a given age group to think or act the same way. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Be warned; this is one of my "yes, but" responses. Here goes. Yes, your point is well-taken and certainly valid. But (I told you it was coming) there are some powerful generalities to be made about youthful bedmates. The truth is that a young body with taut muscles is, in itself, a visual aphrodisiac. Complement that with a vigorous mind and the rest falls into place. The overriding rarity of young lovemaking is its energy. (Aging lovers who try to compete on that score are in for some negative consequences.) Oh — one more thing: Youthful lovers are more adventurous, more experimental in bed. (There, I've said it, and I'm glad.) For those who are delighted to be past the highly sexual years, that is of no interest. But there are others...

DEAR READERS: Some resolutions are worth repeating to remind you (and me) about certain basics that — I promise — will help you ease into spring.

I RESOLVE to think for myself in all situations rather than allow an "expert" to chart the course of my life. Though I will remain open to wise counsel, I alone will make the final decisions on matters affecting my life.

I RESOLVE to remain aware of my undependence/wholeness/individuality at all times, especially when in a coupled relationship. While not encroaching on my partner's needs, I will be vigilant to voice my own.

I RESOLVE to nurture worthwhile friendships and to be a loving friend, because my undependence is not meant to shut out nourishing relationships. I will cultivate friendships with good people of all ages and stages, from every conceivable background, as long as they enrich the lives of both of us.

I RESOLVE to build commonality and understanding with the other gender, believing that it is neither alien nor enemy. I will strive to establish solid intimacy that goes far beyond sexual activity.

I RESOLVE to keep my marital status incidental. In the larger picture of my life, meaningful involvement is immeasurably more significant.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].

Photo credit: Eric Kilby