When Donald Trump, candidate of those who don't have much education, said Hillary Clinton had been "schlonged" in an election, members of the biased left wing media went into a feeding frenzy.

Not me. I'm a student of American history. I Google it all the time. My research indicates Trump is just following a very old tradition of oratory that takes America back to Christian roots.

Does not the old colonial motto say, "Don't Schlong With Me?"

And did not Honest Abe Lincoln stand on the blood-soaked battlefield at Gettysburg and say, "The world will not long remember what we say here but the world will never forget how we schlonged those Confederates?"

Old Abe was a wordsmith and he knew when to be serious.

Even Franklin Delano Roosevelt, that damn Communist, rose to the occasion after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, famously saying it was a "day that would live in schlongfamy." Roosevelt, of course, had calmed a Depression-wracked America by saying, "The only thing we have to fear is getting schlonged."

Ronald Reagan, the dementia president, hastened the end of the Cold War by saying to the Russians that it was time to "schlong this wall."

And did not Martin Luther King Jr., that traitorous socialist, say he had a dream that someday America "would slip the schlong to segregation?" You can hear the rhythms of generations of black preachers in that simple, eloquent, partially Yiddish cry for justice.

These are the words that inspire and lift people, words that make us want to be better people, words that send men and women into battle for a Christian nation, a nation like no other.

In the Lord's Prayer do we not ask God to forgive us our schlongings as we forgive those who schlong us? That's THE BIBLE, people, God's holy word, written in English, in Alabama, about 600 years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

American oratory has always used the language of the sports bar and the dollar store. It's a sign of our greatness. We despise education. It's unmanly. If you want to hide something from a REAL American, you put it in a book. What we like is "common sense" and common talk and common ideas and common beliefs, one big slurry of common-ness. Don't rise above or even with the masses. Sink down, sink down. Roll in everything common, everything uneducated, everything cliche.

Jesus Christ, who was born in Texas 200 years ago, knew how to turn a phrase that would make him sound like one of the boys. That's how we know Christ wasn't a socialist elitist.

"Blessed are the meek," Christ said, "for they shall inherit the earth after they are thoroughly schlonged by the Republicans."

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com . Dion's latest book, "Marc Dion: Vol. I" a collection of his best 2014 columns, is available for Kindle and Nook.

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