The thing about America is, anyone can be a hero. It's like those countries in Africa where one day, you're hanging around your starving little village, brushing flies off of your eyes, and then the army comes through and all of a sudden, you're a soldier.

Here in America, we love soldiers. We hate Muslims, union members, illegal Mexicans, pushing "1" for English, having the Ten Commandments ripped off the wall of the high school gym and "political correctness," but we love soldiers. They're all heroes and they're all "defending our freedoms," wherever they may be.

That's why those of us who REALLY love America are thrilled to our patriotic cores every time there's some sort of public shooting. The twisted bodies of the sometimes underage dead may disgust you America-hating liberals, but we know better.

Here in semi-automatic nation, heroism and the nobility of dying for our rights is no longer restricted to people who have joined the army. It's no longer restricted to adults either, and there's no discrimination based on age or gender.

If you're 6 years old, you can head off to grade school one day, just another purposeless kid who likes pudding, and by the end of the day, you'll be in a combat situation. You're a soldier! You're a hero!

You can innocently go to a movie and, with no warning, some maniac bursts in, starts shooting and turns you into a soldier! In a real war! All gave some. Some gave all. You got clipped with an unchewed Raisinet in your mouth.

And you died, not purposelessly in a stupid mall massacre, but rather in the proud and noble struggle to protect our Second Amendment rights.

Every single borderline lunatic in this country has the cherished, God-given right to own more guns than an infantry regiment. He may be a bag of broken cookies but, if he can pass the half-serious background check and if his relatives keep their mouths shut, he can buy a garage full of automatic weapons. Remember, he's a "law-abiding gun owner" until the spiders in his head get loose.

Yup. Freedom isn't free, as the bumper sticker says. People have to die for freedom. You have to die for freedom. Your mother has to die for freedom. Your kid in community college has to die for freedom. Your kid in grade school has to die for freedom. You can't go to the store for a gallon of ice cream without risking your life for freedom.

It's a brave damn country, and we're all soldiers in the war against the Second Amendment, which is threatened every day. If you don't die for the Second Amendment, then how are people going to know it works?

Line your kids up, left to right by order of height, even the little one who still sleeps with a pacifier. Tell them they're soldiers. Make 'em salute. Then, send 'em off to school to die for our rights.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, "Marc Dion: Volume I," is available for $2.99 for Nook and Kindle.