Many years ago, in a newsroom where I toiled, there was an old crime reporter who would sometimes return to the office with the horrific details of domestic abuse.

"But he loves her," he would say after he told the story to the reporters.

"You know how she knows he loves her?" he would ask. "Because he told her he loves her."

It was a brutal, unkind thing to say, but he knew it was true and, as I journeyed further into the dark woods of life on a newspaper night shift, I began to say the same thing myself.

You know how you know a politician is a Christian?

Because he tells you he's a Christian.

He is a Christian when he says he is or when she says she is. And Christians they remain when they send your kid off to get killed in East Carbombistan, a country that, like America, is filled with true believers.

And I can guarantee you that, when your child's slightly mismatched body parts get stuffed into a box and flown home, the Christian politician will demand that your son or daughter's lifeless corpse receives a Christian burial.

When you are raising your orphaned grandchildren, the Christian politician will fight to the death to make sure they are allowed to include "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance at the beginning of classes in their underfunded ghetto grade school. The Christian politician does not give a damn if you and your orphaned grandchildren get enough to eat. In fact, the Christian politician is endeavoring to cut the food stamp program because he believes its main beneficiaries are black layabouts who reproduce every three months and drive new Mercedes convertibles.

You have no right to health insurance. You have no right to an education. You have no right to unionize. You have no right not to be called crude racial names. You have no right to sufficient food. You have no right to sleep indoors. You have no right to an abortion. You have no right to marry a member of your own sex.

You have the right to Jesus. Over and over again. You have the right to a full plate of Jesus three times a day. You have the right to a roof of Jesus over your head. You have the right to pray for the return of any and all things taken away from you or withheld from you by the Christian politician. You have the right to read the Bible, on the bus, while on the way to your nonunion, minimum wage, no-benefits, night shift second job. If the bus driver tells you to stop reading the Bible, the Christian politician will show up for a rally and will introduce legislation aimed at protecting the right of overworked, miserably poor people to read the Bible on city buses.

The domestic abuser hits you and claims to love you. The Christian politician hits you and claims to love Jesus.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com