Over there in Afghanistan, mobs of howling, rock-throwing murderous Muslims are showing their American spirit.

Seems a bunch of Qurans were burned by some visiting troops. Muslims, revering the Quran as their holy book, as Christians do the Bible, are on a rampage.

But please, don't think of the rioting, "Death to America" chanting guys who only use one name as dirty, foreign, extremist whack-jobs.

Hell, no! The guys calling for holy war are acting in the finest American tradition. They are protecting their right to worship; they are upholding their culture; they are trying to stop government (OK, so it's not their government) from meddling in their cherished religious beliefs. They want a return to the good old-fashioned beliefs that built their great nation.

Isn't that what loyal Americans do when government tries to take the Ten Commandments off a courtroom wall or stop the crowd from praying before a high school football game?

I know. I know. When some atheist punk kid sued to stop prayer before school assemblies in your local high school, you didn't go bull goose looney and start throwing rocks at cop cars.

But why not?

Are you trying to tell me that you don't love the Holy Bible as much as Ali from Afghanistan loves the Quran?

You oughta be ashamed of yourself.

When the American Civil Liberties Union sued to remove the big prayer carved into the cinder block wall of your high school football team's weight room, what did you do? You sued back, right?

Pansy!

What you needed to do was get out in the street and beat a few people to death, set the high school on fire, lynch the ACLU lawyer and burn down any synagogues in the area. That's how you show those stinking foreigners that you love Jesus the way they love Muhammad.

The trouble with America is we've got too many unbelievers around, people who don't understand why the Christian faith has to be stuffed into everything from courtrooms to high school gymnasiums.

They don't have that trouble in places like Afghanistan. Try stepping out of your hut one morning in Afghanistan and yelling, "God is not great!" One of your neighbors, who is only protecting his culture, will hit you with 200 rounds from an AK-47 faster than you can say: "I was only kidding ... God IS great."

Over here, in America, Satanists have constructed our laws so that you don't have to believe in Jesus if you don't want to and your tax money doesn't go to whitewash The Lord's Prayer on the side of your town's city hall. Damn secularists!

Take a good look at Afghanistan. That's how things ought to be. That's how you practice your religion. That's how you win a culture war, by burning, beating and killing anyone who threatens your culture. Isn't that what Jesus wants you to do? Kill the unbelievers, or at least force them to recite his words every single day in homeroom?

Take a good look at Afghanistan, because that's what your country looks like if you have one religion and everyone has to believe in that religion, with all their heart, or they get shot to death and their corpses are dragged through the streets so everyone can see what it means to love God.

Right now, you've got a lot of people running for office on the "I'll protect Jesus from the unbelievers" ticket. If you elect one or two of those guys, you're not going to become Afghanistan right away. But if you elect enough of them for long enough, you will.

God is great!

Right?

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com