It wasn't all bad ... But a lot of it was, so let's start with that:

HOPPIN' DOWN THE PAPER TRAIL

Hard-boiled lawyers made sure no kids could participate in the University of California, Berkeley's campus Easter egg hunt without parents first signing a waiver acknowledging the potential risk of "catastrophic injuries including paralysis and death."

VAN PANDEMONIUM

Don't even PARK near a white van, the mayor of Baltimore warned his constituents. "We're getting reports of somebody in a white van trying to snatch up young girls for human trafficking and for selling body parts." Reports? The stories were on Facebook. The police, who rely on other sources, like reality, said there had been no such crimes.

DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN M'AM?

Holly Curry, a Kentucky mom who let her six children wait in the car for 10 minutes while she ran into a cafe to get them muffins, found herself reported to child protective services. The authorities came to her home and proceeded to make each child strip naked so they could look for signs of abuse. The verdict? The kids were fine (at least until they were forced to strip for strangers). Now the mom is pursuing a lawsuit.

DRAG NOT

Santana Adams of Milton, West Virginia, accused a man of grabbing her 5-year-old daughter and dragging her by the hair at the Old Navy, fleeing only when she — mama — pulled out a gun. The man was quickly found and hauled off to jail ... until mall footage showed the two shoppers calmly leaving the store, going in opposite directions. The mom has been charged with making a false accusation.

THE OL' COLLEGE TRY

... was not what about 50 parents, including celebrities, did to get their kids into schools. Instead, they paid a fixer who hired test takers, bribed coaches and photoshopped the kids into water polo and crew team pictures — elite sports they didn't play, and now probably never will.

CHORE LEAVE

Christina Behar posted a "mother's helper available" note on behalf of her spunky almost-10-year-old Sarah, who was looking for a part-time gig helping local moms with dishes, laundry and such. Six hours later, the sheriff showed up at Christina's door. "Apparently the ad generated multiple phone calls from paranoid neighbors thinking I was using my child as a slave," said Christina.

CHALK'S UP, DON'T SHOOT!

Teachers at Meadowlawn Elementary School in Monticello, Indiana, were taken into a room, told to crouch down and shot execution-style. Then the next group was sent in. Then the next. But, hey — it was just a drill! And the weapons were nonlethal airsoft guns (that nonetheless left welts). "They shot all of us across our backs," said one teacher. "I was hit four times."

SLIDING INTO CASH

A kindergartener who hurt her arm on the slide during recess at Griebling Elementary School in Howell, New Jersey, was awarded $170,000. Her lawyer said the girl hit an "excessive rate of speed" because the slide was at a 35-degree angle, not the 30 degrees set by federal standards. (Wait till he finds out that some towns have hills!)

AND NOW FOR SOME GOOD NEWS:

CLUB KIDS

The kids in one particular club at a Title I school in Texas outscored their fellow students on a statewide test. What was the club? "Dungeons & Dragons" Club. Teacher Kade Wells explained why: "Playing 'Dungeons & Dragons' makes you smarter."

SOMETHING SPECIAL IN THE AIR

When Alexa Bjornson put her son Landon on a flight from Las Vegas to Oregon, she gave him a note to hand whoever sat next to him, as well as a "thank you" $10 bill. The note explained that Landon, 7, has autism and might ask, "Are we there yet?" a lot. But the guy next to him, Ben Pedraza, texted the mom at the end of the trip to say he'd had a great time joking around with the boy — in between the "Are we there yet?"'s. As for the $10, Ben donated it to the Autism Society.

Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, founder of Free-Range Kids and author of "Has the World Gone Skenazy?" To learn more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: apriljlamb at Pixabay