The Terrible Toys of 2021

By Lenore Skenazy

November 25, 2021 3 min read

In the face of the supply chain crunch, some parents are making do with the only toys left on the shelves. These include:

Chutes and Lepers: The game is the same. The graphics are ... disturbing.

Skanky: A Slinky that stays out all night and stumbles down the stairs.

Supersize Fidget Spinner: Pizza-size version of the popular gadget.

Hangry, Hangry Hippos: Life-size. Animatronic. Ravenous.

Big Wheel (of Brie): Do not ride in the sun.

Screw You Bears: Their more caring relatives are sitting in a container off Macao.

Rubik's Red-Hot Cube: Heats up to 525 F. Oven mitts suggested.

GI Infection Joe: Not all heroes get the digestive tract they deserve.

Cards Against Hannity: Always starts a fight!

Bleeding Gumby: An eerie, bendable reminder of the importance of flossing.

Etch-a-Snitch: Favorite drawing toy of the mob.

Monotony: Monopoly plus solitaire.

Polyamorous Pocket: She fits in your pocket — and so do her friends Burt, Jeremiah, Franklin, Hank and sometimes Barb. Clothing sold separately.

My Little Prawny: "The only shrimp with hair!"

Pokemom: "Pikachu, I birthed you!"

Cabbage Patch Kids with Kids: "No one stays young forever."

Private Astronaut Barbie: Elon's arm candy.

Serious String: String you can use to tie up packages. Comes in white or brown.

See-n- Say Samuel L. Jackson Edition: Hey, kids — wanna learn some new words?

Bennie Babies: Adorable animals stuffed with pills.

Wet Pet Rock: Pet Rock that comes in a plastic cup you can fill with water.

Border Paw Patrol: These dogs have a tough job.

Mr. Potato Skinhead: Does not play well with other toys.

Out-of-Network Operation: All the fun of calling the insurance company!

Baggel: Like Boggle, but you can only use Yiddish expressions, like "feh" and "schmooze."

Sorry! The high-stakes game of office misunderstandings.

Buzzed Lightyear: Last seen with Skanky.

Nahtzee: No one likes this one.

Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, a contributing writer at Reason.com,and author of "Has the World Gone Skenazy?" To learn more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: ErikaWittlieb at Pixabay

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