Alas, no surprise here: A 5-year-old Galion, Ohio, boy who tested positive for methamphetamine after trick-or-treating was not given drug-laced candy by a stranger, the police now report. Instead, his father has been charged with possession of meth and drug tampering.
The case was sad and suspicious from the start. The boy had barely eaten any of his candy, only chomping on some toy vampire teeth, when he started shaking. He told WBNS-TV, "And then I couldn't move my arm or my fingers."
His parents, fearing he was having some kind of seizure, rushed him to the hospital. At that point, his mom told WSYX-TV, "the left side of his face was just droopy, and then he fell, and then he couldn't move his left arm. And he didn't know where he was. He didn't know what he was doing."
Apparently, what he was doing was reacting to the meth that a drug test found in his urine. Though his parents, who admit they are recovering addicts, told investigators they thought their child had been poisoned by someone's evil Halloween prank, the cops obtained a search warrant for their home. There they found drug paraphernalia (a word that must feel bad it is almost only ever used in this context) and pot and meth. A urine test of the dad also was positive for meth.
The Galion Police Department's Facebook page says: "Our detectives have worked extremely hard on this investigation. While we cannot definitively say how the little boy ingested methamphetamine, we are extremely confident that he did not ingest any candy from Trick or Treat that was tainted. The boy is home, has been attending school and has not shown any lingering effects from the drug."
That is great news. Not so great news includes the fact that immediately after the cops first announced that a boy had possibly eaten tainted candy and all parents should be on the alert, over 100 comments poured in to their Facebook page, including the usual: "We need stronger Laws to Protect Our Children."
As if we didn't already have laws against illegal drugs (hence the word "illegal") and poisoning.
Also not great news is the fact that the post about the boy's not being drugged by a stranger was shared a measly 29 times. The earlier post about his being possibly drugged by a stranger was shared 1,164 times.
And while we're at it, a Florida story of a needle in a Kit Kat was proved false. (A 14-year-old confessed to doing it herself.) And a pin in a Mounds bar in Hoosick Falls, New York, was also the work of a kid. This one was pranking his dad and didn't realize Pops could call the cops.
The moral of the story? Halloween is simply not spooky. And yet, as with bite-sized Snickers, we never seem to be able to get our fill of stories of kids in terrible danger from diabolical strangers, even when those stories seem phonier than a set of plastic vampire teeth.
Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, founder of Free-Range Kids and author of "Has the World Gone Skenazy?" To learn more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.