Hi: I am a 13-year-old girl in eighth grade, and I have started identifying myself as asexual. I'm not interested in sex, dating or kissing. (The sad part is, I'm a hopeless romantic.) Part of it is because of my religion.

I believe the only lifelong commitment I should have is to my Lord. I know this might change in time, but here's the problem. I get into truth-or-dare games with kids my age, have discussions at lunch, overhear conversations, and all of them are about the same thing: boys.

The conversations make me feel uncomfortable because I don't know anything about it. But when people ask me, "Have you ever been kissed?" or "Do you have a crush?" it becomes awkward and I want to run and hide.

In our society that is so sex-oriented and promotes the dream of a family with 3.7 kids and a picket fence, it feels like there's no place for someone who doesn't fall in love.

How do you explain to people your age who are obsessed with dating and boyfriends and girlfriends that you don't want to be a part of that, or at least not soon? — Amoeba

Dear Am: Unless you are a Catholic nun, to the best of my knowledge no religion requires you to give up a romantic partner in order to honor the Lord. You might want to talk to your pastor about this.

My hunch, though, is that at this point in your life, you may well be asexual. As for what to do about friends' questions, you only have two options. One is to have the courage of your convictions and say what you feel, which, admittedly, will single you out as "different," and the other would be to say you'd prefer to keep your thoughts on the subject to yourself for the time being.

Your instincts may change, and they may not. As for your larger question, the group of people who do not fall in love is not as small as you imagine. —Margo, supportively

WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE HANGERS-ON

Dear Margo: We went to a local fair last night with our two children. We ran into a father and daughter from our daughter's Girl Scout troop. They ended up following us around for the whole evening, which was a big bummer for us.

I have to deal with them on a weekly basis and could not bring myself to do more than try to ditch them. It was tough because most of the rides were for two kids, so my son was left out while the two girls rode together. I also kept having to move away from the man and toward my hubby because he knew me better and wanted to talk to me.

What could I have said to kindly remove our family from them? This is a much-loved yearly event for us, and he really made it difficult. Thanks. — Fair Mom

Dear Fair: Ah, yes, the Elmer's Glue people . . . the ones who stick around and can't seem to take a hint. This is a common problem we have all lived through, including yours truly.

The super-kind thing to do is grin and bear it, but as a general principle, I am not in favor of being anyone's captive. Were this kind of thing to come up again, you might try saying, "You know, it is always lovely to see you, but this was meant to be a family time, and I know you'll understand." The fact that his daughter and yours were pals complicates things a little.

But do the best you can, and try "making your excuses," as the old saying has it, or introduce the pest to someone you know who is nearby and handy. — Margo, self-interestedly

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.