Dear Margo: When I moved into my condo, a neighbor welcomed me to the neighborhood. He introduced himself, then asked my name. Though I am quite private, I felt forced to be friendly, so I introduced myself. Now, every time he sees me, he yells out my name and asks how my day was.

Whenever this happens I feel a surge of anger and discomfort, as I am not used to strangers hollering out my name. One day, while checking my mailbox, he approached from behind and patted me on my right shoulder. My first instinct was to spin around and knee him in the groin, but I painfully smiled and ignored it.

Two days later, going to my car, he walked behind me, tapped me on my right shoulder, then squeezed my left neck muscle. I was totally horrified, but said nothing and just walked off. Every time he sees me, he is always trying to strike up a conversation by inviting me to his barbecues, weekends at the beach with him and his family, even offering to sell me some pup when the family dog delivers.

My fear is that if I tell this neighbor how disgusted I am with his "overfriendliness" and touching I will make a bad situation worse. In the past when I have rejected men, or said things they didn't want to hear, it has led to unfortunate results. One man stalked me; another kept calling and hanging up after I told him he wasn't my type. Can you help me handle this? — Imprisoned In My Own Home

Dear Imp: Unless I am misunderstanding the invitations to be with his family and get a pup, he is admittedly married, so I don't think he is (consciously) on the make. An insensitive clod, yes.

The next time he hollers or touches you, by all means tell him the physical contact makes you uncomfortable, as does hollering hello. Tell him you always want to be a good neighbor, but you'll not be accepting any of his invitations, and you'd appreciate it if he would ratchet up the level of formality. — Margo, directly

Culture Clash

Dear Margo: I am American and my husband is Middle Eastern and an educated, caring individual. We were married for five years before we had our son. It was at this point that our cultural differences showed themselves.

Our opinions differ immensely on how to care for our child. An example: My husband bought me a dog for our second anniversary. The dog was like our "child," until we actually had a child.

At that time, my husband decided the dog was "dirty" (a common feeling in his country), and he would actually wash the dog's feet (or put sanitizer on them) every time the dog came in from outside. The dog was no longer allowed in our bedroom (although he always slept with us in our bed before), and my husband would oftentimes be mean to the dog for no reason. This is only one example.

Every time our son is sick with a cold or anything, my husband freaks out. He literally blames me for the sickness, saying I didn't make him warm enough, or I didn't feed him the right things, or I didn't make sure he had enough sleep. He believes that being cold makes you get a cold. When I don't follow cultural suggestions, like using homemade remedies, he accuses me of not caring about our son.

I have tried to talk to him, telling him that freaking out in front of our toddler only makes him more scared and uncomfortable. It's getting to the point that I really can't take it anymore. Suggestions? — K.L.

Dear K.: The deal with the dog is nuts. Why was the "dirty" dog acceptable before you had a child, if a cultural no-no? (Since I'm sure you want to keep the baby, you may have to find a new home for the dog.)

As for your husband's off-the-wall ideas of correct childcare, I suggest a meeting with your pediatrician. With luck, maybe the doc can save the dog. If your husband still will not accept medical fact as opposed to cultural shibboleths, then you really may have a problem staying together. — Margo, hopefully

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.