Dear Margo: My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years and were (I thought) completely devoted to each other. About two months ago, we got into a serious argument, and it simmered for a few weeks.

We never broke up, but we were not really on friendly terms at the time. We made it through the rough patch (I thought) and have been back to our wonderful selves ever since.

Yesterday, I had the occasion to see her e-mail account without her knowledge. I have never snooped before. I know I shouldn't have, but there it was, and my curiosity got the better of me.

As you might imagine, I found e-mails referring to her having cheated on me during this brief period where we were upset with each other. Apparently, she told some people that we had broken up (there is no ambiguity on this point — we hadn't) and referred to "seeing other guys" and having "cheated" during this period.

I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I don't know what to do. If I confront her, she will understandably be livid about my invasion of her privacy. On the other hand, I want to know what happened. I love her very much and don't want to lose her over something stupid, but I cannot stop thinking about this. What should I do? — Unclean Hands

Dear Un: You already know what happened: She stepped out on you. Hard though it may be, stop thinking about it because, for all intents and purposes, you had broken up, although the time-out was not formally declared a breakup.

The kernel of the story here is that you are back together, and it is not duplicitous of her to have strayed if she thought things were over. It is not as though you were married and had a trial separation with the caveat that neither one could date. — Margo, forwardly

Dear Margo: I have been with a wonderful man for three years. We bought a house together and have two children. The problem is the dog. He brought this dog home without consulting me and insists it live in the house.

I do not like dogs. I thought at first that I could live with it and learn to love it. I was so wrong. This dog has chewed every pair of shoes I own and has destroyed most of my children's toys. It plays rough with the children and often hurts them. It has knocked me down the stairs on a number of occasions and has destroyed all of the grass in our front yard. It also gets up on its hind legs while we are eating and steals food off of our plates.

My man insists that it will "grow out of" the behavior, but the dog is almost 2 years old! Every time I start to say something about the dog, my man gets defensive and angry. Margo, this is not a small puppy. What can I do? — Crystal in Indiana

Dear Crys: This dog has knocked you down the stairs? That is reason enough to return the hound from whence it came. Tell your daffy husband that it's you or Fido. No family needs a dog who's made a meal of all your shoes, ruined the toys, wrecked the front yard and hurts the kids.

All the dog will "grow out of" is being 2. Then he will be 3. Obedience school might work, but the real point is that a family dog should be a family decision. — Margo, adamantly

***

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.