Q: My wife and I will celebrate our 50th anniversary with our family and friends in March. I would like to surprise my wife in some little special way to let her know how much I love and appreciate her. I am nervous, so I would like to prepare a short speech ahead of time. I want the speech to be loving and a little humorous. Can you share some ideas I could do to accomplish these things?

A: Congratulations! Not many couples are so blessed. First, thank your guests for coming to your party and sharing in the celebration. If there are some guests who do not know each other, introduce them.

Next, thank your wife for being your partner and lover for 50 years, and tell her that you are looking forward to more years together!

Tell the story of how you met and courted before your marriage. How did both sets of your parents feel about your match? What were the wedding details? Who chose your rings? What have been the greatest moments during your marriage? Any mistakes?

If you have children remind your guests that one of the greatest things you have done together is lovingly raise kids together.

For a little humor, quote Philip Barry's definition of love: "Two minds without a single thought!" Remember a funny story (for instance, "One time my wife saw a couple passionately kissing. She said, 'Why don't you do that?' My response was 'I don't know her well enough!'").

A few other one-liners could be:

"We take bets on which parts of our bodies will conk out next."

"The creative use of a hearing aid allows me to hear only what I really want to hear."

"When we first married, I knew our first few meals wouldn't be great: It takes time to find the best restaurants."

"A long marriage allows me the perfect excuse to forget things."

"Our strength lies in our differences, not in our similarities."

"I hold my wife's hand in public so she won't run away."

Close your remarks with a sincere and simple toast to your wife, such as "I have known many but have loved only one!"

BAD HABITS

Q: I realize my bad habits are self-destructive, and I do things that I later regret. One example is that just last week our regular mailman accidentally put my mail in my neighbor's box. The next time he delivered I really let him have it. I now realize how unimportant his mistake was.

What can I do to apologize to him?

A: We all face our demons on occasion, and sometimes we make decisions that we later realize we shouldn't have. Psychiatrists believe many of our impulsive reactions are rooted in a lack of self-esteem and a need to control. Your health, finances, stress and family upbringing could all lead you to react in an unhealthy way.

To ease your differences with your mailman, apologize and hand him a small bag of cookies the next time you see him.

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Betty is a friend of Doug Mayberry, whom she helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Mike Gifford