Q: I've been hearing for years that red wine is good for your heart, but my daughter has been getting on me about not drinking. She is very interested in health food and always has advice for everyone around her about how they should change their lives.

I am not interested in giving up my evening glass. How can I get her to stop nagging me?

A: A good rule of thumb is that most things are fine in moderation.

One common aspect of our culture is a tendency to take things to the extreme, including advice. Food trends reign supreme, and there is a continual stream of new advice and research. Keeping up with the current fad seems impossible.

You've been around long enough to know how your body reacts to certain foods, but you should also keep an eye out for changes. Age affects how we process the items we ingest, and we seldom need to eat or drink as much for the same effect.

However, we are more sensitive to alcohol. It affects the brain as well as the body, making it important to monitor our consumption.

Your daughter may just be reacting to health news and advice. But just in case she isn't, look at yourself and make an honest assessment of how much you consume and whether it's hurting your relationships with others. Your daughter may also be wary of you having a fall and breaking a hip.

My mother had a great justification for her own predilection for smoking: "I don't drink. I don't curse. And I don't sleep around. Aren't I entitled to have some fun?" She was able to put her habit in context.

The next time your daughter gets on you, acknowledge that you've sincerely listened to her advice. But ultimately it's your decision!

A little bit of indulgence is healthy for living well — but don't overdo it. — Doug

SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS

Q: I have a longtime friend who has hit a rough patch in his life. His wife passed recently, and his family is in full-out combat in the aftermath.

Everything is going wrong in his life, and he's turning away from me and others. But these are the times when we need our friends the most.

How can I reach out?

A: Give the situation some time.

Be understanding of your friend and the way he processes events. For some people, turbulent life events are overwhelming, making it difficult to have any more social input — even if it's positive.

It's easy to assume that people we're close to have the same needs as us, but that's not the case. Even after a long time, we can still be surprised by other people.

Be there for him when he's ready to reconnect. Even if your intentions are good, be careful that you aren't adding to his burden.

After a few weeks, make another effort to reach out. His retreat into privacy may be temporary, but reconnecting can be difficult. The first step is often the hardest, especially if he feels the need to make amends for brushing you off.

You are in his corner! — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: at Pixabay