Q: I turned 65 this year and have kept in reasonably good health.
I have no family support and I have awakened to the reality that I have to take care of myself, as no one else will. My husband has passed away, and we never had children. All of my friends around my age and have their own complicated lives.
Do you have any self-care tips?
A: Dramatic changes often make us reconsider where we are in life and what our goals are. These changes can sneak up on us or surprise us, but they often make us rethink how much control we have in our lives. Unfortunately, changes come quickly at this stage of our lives.
Common issues are cause frustrations, loneliness and major stress.
Focus on yourself and set goals. Be more assertive about making your own decisions by learning to say "no" when appropriate. It's up to you to make all of these decisions, which can be good or bad. It all depends on your attitude!
Maintain your connections with others and stay involved in the world around you. Most individuals are primarily concerned about themselves, so it's important to balance your needs and theirs. The best way to make new friends is to ask someone questions about themselves.
Now is a great time to focus on your living space. Trash, sell or donate whatever you're hoarding, and enjoy having the free space.
Avoid developing a toxic TV addiction. Many people find it as a escape from reality when we are bored, in pain, lonely, and unhappy.
Stay active with light exercise — walk around the neighborhood or join an exercise class. Keep your body moving, but don't overdo it.
The bottom line is to believe in yourself. Knowing your wants and needs+ will allow you to become your own best advocate. — Doug
MEMORY LAPSES
Q: I've always had an excellent memory and don't want to lose that with age. Unfortunately, I feel myself slipping. I struggle to find the right word at the right time and I'm losing track of appointments.
How do I know what is normal or abnormal?
A: Our entire body changes with age — our joints, our eyes, our bones and yes, the brain, too. More than half of people experience some memory symptom after age 60.
Harvard Medical School recognizes seven common memory problems that most people will experience: transience, or forgetting facts or events over time; absentmindedness, or inattention leading to forgetfulness; blocking, or a temporary forgetfulness of a word or fact; misattribution, or partial memory with incorrect details; suggestibility, or later information which affects a memory; bias, or perception based on personal beliefs or judgment; and persistence, or inability to forget something.
These are all normal, but you may be worried if you find these issues extreme and persistent. There are a couple of other factors that you also might want to consider — lack of sleep, alcohol consumption, stress, anxiety or depression.
If you've had a recent lifestyle change, investigate if that might be the source of your fogginess. Alter your habits and see if anything changes.
If you haven't had a lifestyle change, try it anyway. Your body might now need an afternoon nap, even if it never did before.
If you end up consulting a doctor, make sure to ask about your thyroid or any medications you take. These both affect memory.
Be patient with yourself! Aging is natural and change to be expected. Emma, Doug's granddaughter
Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
View Comments