Q: I have a niece whom I love, but who also frustrates me because she talks so loudly and overrides my conversations. She is not really interested in what I have to say and our conversations are all about her .

When I have a chance to say something, she jumps in and tells me her story of how she handled a similar experience. I realize she is basically self-absorbed, and although I love her, it is possible she does not realize her tendency to be so domineering and the center of attention.

How can I best respond to her and remain close?

A: Unfortunately those who are self- absorbed rarely change.

If both of you are computer literate, you might suggest that your hearing has become more difficult and that it would be easier for you to keep in contact via email as you are doing with friends.

It may be possible she has a hearing problem herself of which she is not aware.

Maybe slowing down her conversation by interrupting her and asking her to repeat herself frequently would help. Wearing earplugs, telling her you do not understand and using other distractions might be effective.

You are unlikely to tell her how you feel for fear of her reaction and the future of your relationship. No doubt there are other family relationships that would be affected should you elect to reveal your true feelings

Loving and caring require patience. Accepting that and choosing to take a positive attitude — that she is who she is and will probably always be so — will serve to relieve your stress

Hopefully there may come a time and opportunity for you to share your feelings! So be it!

SON, MY COMPUTER HAS BEEN HACKED!

Q: I am a senior citizen whose computer has been hacked by thieves. They have successfully taken $500 from my checking account. Luckily they haven't yet used my credit cards! I have notified my bank, card insurers, credit card companies and the police. Years ago my husband and I were robbed in our home, and the hackers remind me of how badly we suffered over the invasion of our privacy.

What, in the future, can I do to discourage hackers?

A: Unfortunately, senior citizens are among the most successful targets for hackers. We become more vulnerable because we tend to have assets; have less technological knowledge; are often confused by software updates; fear punching the wrong keys and losing our data; and are more willing to take instructions from strangers. The rapidity of more intelligent machines is also a challenge.

Many seniors have chronic health issues and smooth computer talkers know how to convince you that you need computer help. Some have even been able to meet seniors at their banks to remove cash for them from their ATM. They know their trade!

Bad guys are smart and knowledgeable, and they prey on your assets.

If a stranger offers computer assistance and you have any hesitation or confusion, say:

"No, thank you!"

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Betty is a friend of Doug Mayberry, whom she helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.