Q: Surprisingly, even though we have been married for nearly 70 years, I continue to learn more about who my husband is and isn't. Most of it is good news, and him letting me know more about himself makes me love him even more.

Is this normal as couples mature?

A: Yes . It signifies that each of you has made the right relationship choice and feels more comfortable about opening up about who you are.

Sharing negative news is not comfortable, but when you realize the importance of doing so, it moves you forward to even more intimacy and happiness. Trust, honesty and acceptance of your differences build strong and happy marriages.

Attempting to know your mate better is a winning attitude. In the process, you learn more about what makes him happiest, as he does about you. Doing so will also alert him of your needs for love and support.

We all need a boost to overcome issues when things go wrong. Can you handle and support your husband in his interests? Do you discuss money matters before making purchases? Do you both feel you are communicating?

Couples experience these and many other major and minor factors every day. You will see the benefit of getting in sync, accepting your differences, and caring and understanding what's important to each other. — Doug

CHANGE FOR THE BETTER

Q: My son isn't taking care of his health, and I'm afraid that he will come to regret his choices immensely. I've seen some of the consequences of my own choices, such as smoking. Ideally, I could persuade him to take care of his diet and exercise before it's too late.

What's the best way to influence him?

A: As you've discovered, the best way to preserve your health is through preventative self-care. Those who keep physically active in their 20s and 30s have a better physical condition than those who don't, even when the two groups exhibit the same behavior later in life.

Sadly, once we begin to experience the effects of our prior behavior, it can be almost impossible to reverse those effects. After a certain age, we are no longer able to build healthy muscle.

We can't control the behavior of others. Even if your son agrees that self-care is important, he may struggle to implement it.

Your best strategy is to target one area for improvement and support him to make healthy choices. If his diet is poor, suggest he change one habit, such as drinking beverages other than water or snacking between meals. Changing in small increments is more likely to affect long-term results.

And be careful: People rarely eliminate habits entirely without replacing them with a new one. So, suggest a healthy alternative.

People are more likely to choose health when they feel supported rather than criticized. And your son will feel more supported if someone close to him can share the experience by making his or her own change. Is there a habit you'd like to break? — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.