Q: I have been married for 30 years to the same man. He recently retired from the informational technology field; I have been a successful artist my entire life. I studied art in college and was able to sell my pieces from the very beginning. Art has provided us with an income, but it is more than that for me. It is who I am. My husband wants me to retire and travel with him.

How do I explain to him that although we both have been successful, we are very different types of people who work in different types of fields, and that true artists don't retire? I can understand people wanting to retire from the business world, since most employees spend their lives working their way up, dealing with all sorts of personalities and demands, and have a lot to tolerate when it comes to interacting with others — co-workers, bosses, even subordinates. He's made a good living in IT, but when he had the chance to retire, he jumped at it. He is healthy and can find something — anything — else to do if he so chooses. IT is not his soul. Art is mine.

The very thought of retiring from art is foreign to me. But how do I explain this him without sounding like I am belittling his career? He made a good income from it. It's just not something a person wants to do forever.

A: The mantra shared today has turned into a trend, perhaps even a fad: Find your passion, and you will succeed. The truth is most people just find jobs, and, if lucky, make money doing what they like. Some find jobs they don't love but accept, and their goals are to work to live comfortably. Many live day to day, which means paying bills just to survive, while some do quite well. Not everyone finds a passion to pursue. Many never feel passionate about any job, and that's life. The problem with the mantra of finding one's passion is that people who don't find it feel they haven't truly succeeded.

Living as an artist is an experience of a different kind. Creative people whose art becomes universally desired can express that inner dream without having to experience the day-to-day stress that others have come to accept as part of work life. Artists who create and sell pieces, whether paintings, sculptures or perhaps poetry, don't have to conform, tolerate, or even deal with the same people daily as those who work in shared employment settings.

Your creations are the products of your mind and soul. People like it and buy it, or they don't. You are lucky to have found your gift and to be able to profit from it. Retiring from art would be like telling your soul to quit living.

Your husband, on the other hand, jumped at the chance to retire because he has lived his entire business career as a life of compromise and sacrifice. His goals are different from yours now, as he may feel he finally has a chance to live his dream. Don't think of traveling as a career change. You don't need to give up creating to travel.

If you feel compelled to work on your pieces daily and taking extended vacations would upset your frame of mind, explain to him how creating allows you to release your feelings, emotionally and mentally. Don't compare your career or your needs to his. Art is a personal and private activity. Traveling is best when shared. Be open to a vacation to explore and share new experiences. It may stimulate you to create new art forms when you return. Some people don't enjoy traveling, but you won't know until you are there.

Your marriage may have worked because you both succeeded in your fields, and you could live your lives as two individuals. Retirement requires a major adjustment on all involved, not just for the retiree. Your husband may now be able to share his stories of compromise, and perhaps on this new path in life, you will gain an understanding of what the majority of workers across the country live each day.

Email career and life coach: [email protected] with your workplace problems and issues. Ms. Novak responds to all emails. For more information, visit www.lindseynovak.com, and for past columns, see https://www.creators.com/features/at-work-lindsey-novak.

Photo credit: Free-Photos at Pixabay