Q: I am a gay man with both gay and heterosexual friends. I befriended a heterosexual woman who is now stalking me at work. She was lively and entertaining at first. Soon after, I saw her as narcissistic and controlling, getting openly angry publically without embarrassment. For example, she'd want to meet for lunch. Ten minutes into the conversation, she'd get upset, jump up, and walk out. I saw two personalities — one charming, one furious because I didn't agree with her on the stupidest things. In person, I told her our friendship was over.

I then began "running" into her at coffee shops and restaurants. She'd walk in and sit at my table, as if I had never told her off. Here's where it gets creepy. She applied as a volunteer at the nonprofit where I work. She has never volunteered anywhere before. I've heard about her past experiences and she is crazy, so I have no idea what she might say to the director.

Should I tell the director about her, or would I be bringing attention to something that might not happen?

A: The part of "crazy" you need to deal with is her irrational behavior, and you can't have this type of person interfering with your job. According to psychiatrist, business consultant, and author of "Talking to Crazy," Mark Goulston, M.D., everyone knows and has to deal with at least one irrational person at work or in their personal life. You can talk to your director about this woman, but Goulston understands if you don't want to make this unduly complicated for you and the director. Another option he suggests, since you've already talked to her is to tell her: "I don't know what your problem is, but you need help, and my engaging with you is only playing into this issue you have and enabling it to continue. From now on, if you attempt to interact with me, I will respond with, "Have you made an appointment to see someone who can help you with your problem? I will have nothing else to do with you and I will not continue to be part of your mental condition that you need to get fixed." If you're concerned for your physical well being, you can also say, "At the first sign I feel you threatening me, I'll report you to the organization's director and to outside authorities." Keep in mind this woman has already ignored your cutting off ties with her.

As a professional, Goulston has been called on to deal with stalkers, anorexics, those threatening suicide and much more, but in "Talking to Crazy," the word "crazy" doesn't mean mentally ill, but means irrational. He says the four ways people display irrational behavior is: "1) They can't see the world clearly; 2) They say or think things that make no sense; 3) They make decisions and take actions that aren't in their best interest; and 4) The become downright impossible when you try to guide them back to the side of reason."

Everyone's heard the expression "you can't talk to crazy." Goulston has discovered a way to communicate with them. First, recognize the person you're dealing with isn't able to think rationally in the current situation, and that the person's "crazy" has deep roots in either the recent or distant past, rather than the present moment; you can't argue or reason it away. Identify the way the person acts out the crazy — the strategy or modus operandi he or she uses. Realize the crazy behavior isn't about you. It's about them. Believe the person is good at heart and there's a reason for the crazy behavior. Be an ally rather than a threat by listening calmly and empathetically. When the person is calm, guide him or her to a saner way of thinking.

Email all questions to [email protected]. For more about her, visit www.lindseyparkernovak.com or follow her on Twitter @TheLindseyNovak and Facebook at Lindsey.Novak.12. For past columns, visit Creators Syndicate Website at www.creators.com.