November 9, 2019

By Marcy Sugar

By Kathy Mitchell

November 9, 2019 4 min read

Dear Annie: I have been married for two years to a man I love, and we have a new baby daughter. I should be happy, but I am not.

Annie, I do not like sex. I didn't like it on my wedding night, and I don't like it now. I was raised in the Catholic Church, and sex before marriage is a sin. My husband respected my wishes. So how is it that just because you have a big ceremony and the priest says you are now married, you somehow become a sex kitten in the bedroom?

I'm a very private person. I don't like to be touched by anyone, including my husband, and it has become a problem. I do everything I can to avoid sex.

Exactly how do I learn to like something I don't like? I have no one to talk to about this. My mother died when I was 10, and I have no siblings. When I was in college, I was too busy with my academic studies to pay attention to what my fellow classmates were doing. To me, love was dating, having similar interests and feeling warm, safe and cared about. I don't understand how these feelings translate into sex being the only thing that matters.

My husband is getting more and more annoyed at my avoidance. Am I missing something? Am I the only woman who feels this way? I've looked for information at the bookstore, but the language and illustrations were offensive to me, so I didn't buy anything. Any suggestions? — Need Help

Dear Need Help: Sex is supposed to be mutually pleasurable and satisfying. While it is not unusual for men to find it more important than women, it should not be something a young wife prefers to avoid altogether. Based on your reaction to the books, we'd say you have a psychological hang-up that dates back to the way you were raised, especially since you had no close female role models to demonstrate a different path. Please contact the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists to locate a counselor in your area. Your marriage is at stake.

Dear Annie: My granddaughter is getting married in a few months. Her parents are divorced and married to others.

Ushers are first escorting the mother and stepmother down the aisle, while the groom and his best man wait at the altar. What is the correct order of entrance after that and the seating order in the church pews? I'm sure the parents won't want to be seated in the same pew, so who gets the first one? I don't want this to spoil their day. — Grandma's Doing Her Best

Dear Grandma: According to Emily Post, the traditional processional follows this order: groomsmen, bridesmaids, maid of honor, ring bearer, flower girl, and then the bride and her father. Parents of the bride sit in the first pew on the left, facing the ceremony; parents of the groom on the right. If the parents need to sit separately because they are incapable of getting along for the duration of the ceremony, Mom and stepdad sit in the front row with maternal grandparents and siblings; other close maternal relatives immediately behind. Dad and stepmom sit in the row behind them (usually the third pew) and follow the same pattern. We hope the bridal couple is using a wedding organizer who will make these suggestions so you can stay out of it.

Dear Annie: I was very moved by Hoping for Better Times, who has MS and wanted more visits from his siblings. I'd like him to know that his letter was the reminder I needed to make more of an effort to keep in touch with my own aunt who has MS. I hope his siblings make an effort as well. — Mean Well, but Distracted in Nebraska

This Classic Annie's Mailbox column was originally published in 2014. To find out more about Classic Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Crceators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at

Photo credit: Skitterphoto at Pixabay

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