August 10, 2020

By Marcy Sugar

By Kathy Mitchell

August 10, 2020 4 min read

Dear Annie: My cousin is getting married soon and another cousin's girlfriend was invited. They have been dating for years, and I really like her. The problem is, my boyfriend was not invited, even though we, too, have been dating for years. A lot of that was long distance, so many of my family members have not yet met him.

When I received my wedding invitation, it was addressed only to me. I was wondering whether it would be rude to ask my cousin whether I could bring my boyfriend. I don't want to create any problems, but this would be the first family event that my boyfriend could attend and I'd like everyone to meet him.

If he cannot attend, I will still go and make sure my cousin's special day is perfect. — Don't Want to Cause Tension

Dear Don't: We commend you for being understanding. It is generally expected that both parties of an established couple are invited, but we double-checked with Lizzie Post of the Emily Post Institute, who said it is not proper for you to ask. Your cousin apparently didn't know that your relationship was steady and ongoing and the couple may not have felt obligated to include someone they didn't know. They also may not have room.

We think it would be a good idea if you found a way to introduce your boyfriend to your cousin before the wedding. Perhaps the two of you could take the bridal couple out to dinner to celebrate. You might also consider having a small party to introduce him to your relatives so they have an opportunity to get to know him.

Dear Annie: My sister does not have her own email address or Facebook page. Everything is in her husband's name. That means he sees everything I send to her.

There are times when I would like to send stuff to my sister in private. I'm not asking her to hide anything important from her husband, but I don't see the point of him being able to read everything I send. Sometimes there are personal things between sisters that I'd prefer she not share, although if she chooses to, that would be her choice. It wouldn't be because he is reading them anyway. Knowing that he is looking at everything I send changes the way I write to her and makes it less sisterly.

I don't understand why she refuses to create her own accounts. It's not that difficult. What's up with this? — Annoyed Sis

Dear Annoyed: Have you asked your sister directly why her accounts are in her husband's name? Perhaps it was a mutual decision allowing both of them to have access to each other's communications and social media posts. This is sometimes a trust issue and not your business. Or maybe she can't be bothered to set up her own, in which case, you can offer to do it for her.

We understand that this annoys you, but it's not your decision. If you need to say something to your sister that you'd prefer her husband not be privy to, we recommend the old-fashioned way: Pick up the telephone or meet her for coffee. Those types of personal communication are still quite effective.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of This Classic Annie's Mailbox column was originally published in 2015. To find out more about Classic Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: niekverlaan at Pixabay

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