DEAR SUSAN: Reading a recent reader's reasons for being content with her singleness, I could really relate to all of them. I found myself saying something like "Amen, sister!" after each one because her past relationship sounded like mine — with a man who had no room in his life for anything but himself and his own needs. But instead of sitting around feeling sorry for herself for "not having a man," she's counting her rediscovered freedoms.

My own relationship lasted about three years because I thought I had to put up with his selfishness in order to "keep" him, believing as I did that if you don't have a man in your life, you are a loser. (Sadly, a lot of women still think that way.) I could kick myself for the things I put up with and the sacrifices I made when he was definitely not worth it. Today I realize that I would have been much better off without him — not that anyone could have convinced me of that at the time.

I hope that reader finds a man like the one in my life now. He's so easygoing it's unbelievable! This is by far the best relationship I've ever had. I hope it lasts forever. I do what I like; he does what he likes; we meet somewhere in the middle. That is how a relationship should be! I didn't know this kind of thing existed when I was with the other guy. Seems to me that the other reader was celebrating her freedom from selfish, whiny, my-way-or-the-highway men. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Congratulations, woman! Your roar is heavenly music to zillions of "Single File" readers, many of them male. To this columnist, it's confirmation of energy (and time) well spent. Yes, if someone's feeling released from a relationship when it ends, she should realize that it's probably always been wrong for her from day one. In your case, you grew into womanhood, whereas he stayed stuck in his infantilism, seeing no further than his own needs. At the time, you played along with the scenario, afraid of being manless; but when you began to realize the power of your womanhood, there was no room in your life for a one-sided relationship. Bravo.

DEAR SUSAN: When my first husband and I decided to divorce, we went to one attorney and worked out a consent agreement. It took some time, though, and she billed by the hour, but if couples have children, I advise them to work things out with one mediator/attorney rather than fight it out with two. When my current husband had "had it" with legal eagles and court dates, he offered $10,000 to a lawyer if she could "get it over with." By the end of the week, the consent agreement was signed and submitted to a judge for signing, which he promptly did. One bill is better than two! — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: My dear mother (bless her soul) often said that getting married should be much more difficult — whereas slipping off a wedding band permanently should be a kinder, simpler process. (She also foresaw an Amazonian culture in which women would make the weighty decisions and men would be in the picture solely to procreate and tend to babies' needs.) It may be a while before her predictions are borne out, but society's direction is clearly trending her way. Having been in her aura for 20 years and being the recipient of her genes, I would think things over countless times before ranting against her vision. Yes, bless her soul.

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