For millions of Americans, the results of a new study about gym teachers will come as no surprise — and a kick in the gut. The big, squishy gut.

"A Negative Phys Ed Teacher Can Cause a Lifetime of Inactivity," warns the press release about a study by Billy Strean. Strean is a professor of physical education and recreation — yes, a guy who trains gym teachers for a living — at the University of Alberta, in Canada. He set out to study the long-term impact of how gym teachers use games and play to engage kids in learning. What he found was that most people couldn't remember any details about the good times they had in PE.

But the bad times?

"They were so poignant!" said Strean in a phone interview. Adult after adult told him stories of being bored, left out or, of course, humiliated. They not only never have forgotten but also blame those bad gym experiences for their La-Z-Boy lives.

As a gal whose very first column in high school was "Dodge Ball Must Die!" I was thrilled to find someone actually studying gym trauma. In fact, I'd have done a little dance ... if that hadn't seemed dangerously close to a jumping jack.

The problem with most gym instruction, Strean determined, is that its goal is to train real athletes. "The model is pro sports," he said, rather than fitness and fun. And this goes triple for all the organized teams kids play on. There are uniforms and photos and all those trophies, when actually, he said, we should just give kids a banana.

"You get a banana and it's nice and you eat it and it's gone," said Strean. Then you go back to playing.

But like so many other childhood activities, sports in and out of school have become a Big Deal. That not only puts pressure on anyone who isn't the next Peyton Manning but also means that kids are missing out on the two most important aspects of any game: organizing it and enjoying it.

When kids organize their own games, they learn all sorts of great lessons about communication, compromise and leadership. When adults do all the organizing, the kids might as well be thumbtacks on a flowchart.

Moreover, when adults are running the show, the kids actually end up doing a lot less physically. "When I asked people, 'What's your best memory of sports and phys ed?' they all said, 'I played street hockey.' 'I played pickup basketball.' 'I remember going out in the front yard with my brother and throwing a football around,'" Strean reported. In other words: They remembered playing on their own. For his part: "I would play one-on-one soccer, and that's how I got to be really good! Because it was hours with a ball at my foot, whereas if you're playing on a team, you're only going to touch the ball for a couple of minutes an hour, if you're lucky."

So in addition to instructing his future gym teachers to concentrate more on play and less on training potential Olympians, Strean is taking his message to the amateur coaches he sees in his life as a plain old soccer dad.

When teams are unevenly matched, he urges the coaches to mix 'em up, even if that means the Marlins are interspersed with the Jaguars. When he stumbles upon a soccer program for 3- and 4-year-olds, he hints that playing on the monkey bars is actually better for the kids — even if their parents are dreaming of a World Cup.

Once coaches and gym teachers realize their drilling and yelling are likely to create more future couch potatoes than they are MVPs, maybe they'll take a step back.

But if they don't?

Feel free to throw a dodge ball at 'em.

Lenore Skenazy is the author of "Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry" and "Who's the Blonde That Married What's-His-Name? The Ultimate Tip-of-the-Tongue Test of Everything You Know You Know — But Can't Remember Right Now." To find out more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.