DR. WALLACE: You always encourage teens to smile. Big deal! A dollar and a smile will buy one soft drink out of the vending machine we have at school. If everyone in the world showed his or her true emotions, there would be many more frowns than smiles. Chew on that for a while. — Derek, Seattle. PS: Is there scientific proof to prove that smiling is beneficial?

DEREK: It appears that you view the glass as half-empty, while I see it as half-full. Do me a favor: Smile extensively for one week, and I promise it will be one of the better weeks in your young life. Write to me if you accept the challenge.

Dr. Gary Schwartz, a professor of psychology at Yale University, says, "You smile because of the way you feel and you feel a certain way because of the way you behave. While laughing on the outside won't eliminate crying on the inside, it helps you create a 'happiness pattern.'"

The more you smile, the more likely you are to experience happiness. Smiling not only makes you feel better, but it can also produce tangible benefits. Statistics point out that company sales, productivity and morale increase when executives are trained to smile more. And it's even been shown that doctors who smile frequently face fewer malpractice suits.

Dr. James McConnell, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan, notes that when you smile, the whole world does seem to smile with you: "An insecure individual may think others just don't like him, when they're actually responding to the infrequency of his smiles."

RETURN RABBIT TO THE WILD AND FIND A NEW PET

DR. WALLACE: I would like to have a pet. My friend has a pet wild rabbit; his brother caught it about two months ago and it appears very tame. They keep it in a cage, which it seems to like, and feed it carrots and lettuce.

Now my friend's father says he has to give the rabbit away or return it to the wild. I want to take the rabbit for my pet, but I want to be prepared when I present the proposal to my parents. Why is it a good idea to have a pet wild rabbit? Your help will be appreciated. I can keep it in our garage. — David, Des Moines, Iowa.

DAVID: Pets are wonderful creatures and most families are enriched by their presence in the home; however, wild animals belong in their natural habitat, not in a cage in the garage. Allow the rabbit to return to the wild, then encourage your parents to accompany you to the local animal shelter. Select a lovable homeless dog or cat — it will give joy and happiness to your family, and especially to you!

HARD TO STAY CLOSE FRIENDS AFTER BREAKUP

DR. WALLACE: Jed and I dated for over a year, but we broke up because we were becoming too serious. Both of us are now dating others, but I called him last night and told him I wanted to remain close friends. He only laughed and said I was his friend, but that it would be impossible for us to be close friends. After a breakup, why can't couples remain close friends? — Nameless, Orlando, Fla.

NAMELESS: Close friends enjoy doing things together. Couples who end a relationship stop doing activities together. It's rare when a close friendship remains after a couple breaks up.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE TUESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Should Move with Parents Before her Senior Year

DR. WALLACE: I always read your column. Your advice is excellent, but (you knew this was coming) I was unhappy with your advice to the girl from California. She wanted to graduate with her current high school class instead of moving to Baltimore with her parents the summer before her senior year. You advised her to go to Baltimore.

As you know, high school is a crucial time for teens. It's important for them to feel a part of things, especially at this stage in their development. If Bernice had been a freshman or sophomore, I would have accepted your advice. But she finished her junior year. At a new school, she'll have to start over and make new friends.

A teen's senior year should be the most enjoyable and memorable, but Bernice will find it hard identifying with her Baltimore graduating class. How much fun would her 10-year reunion be? Since Bernice can live with an aunt, I think it would be a mistake to pass up graduating with friends. You made an error with your answer. — Kristin, Lake Charles, La.

KRISTIN: I understand your position and you offer many good reasons why Bernice should not move to Baltimore, but I must stay with my original advice: She should accompany her mom and dad to the East Coast.

If Bernice had been a senior scheduled to graduate in June, then I would have advised her to stay in California, graduate with her class and return to her family after the ceremonies. But a month's separation is far different from a whole school year. The reasons you offer don't justify breaking up the family unit. She still needs the guidance, support and love that mom and dad provide best.

Yes, it will be a challenge for Bernice to make new friends at a school 3,000 miles away, but what's life without challenges? I'm sure she'll rise to the occasion. And she could still have the best year of her life.

BROTHER NEEDS TO WATCH WEIGHT AND EAT HEALTHY

DR. WALLACE: My younger brother and I live with our grandparents. I eat properly and am not overweight. My brother is allowed to eat anything and everything, including lots of cookies and candy. To put it simply, my brother is very fat. I've talked to grandma about this problem, but all she says is "not to worry" because as my brother gets older he will shed his "baby fat" (he's 12) and have a normal weight. Is this true? Sometimes I'm embarrassed to have my friends see him. — Nameless, Hammond, Ind.

NAMELESS: Grandma shouldn't be lulled into thinking your brother's extra weight will vanish when he becomes older.

According to Dr. Pat Crawford, co-director of the Center for Weight and Health at the University of California, obesity in childhood sets the stage for health problems well into adulthood, including type-2 diabetes. Statistics show that up to 70 percent of obese 10- to 18-year-old children remain obese as adults. Unless healthy changes are made, overweight children become heavy adults.

While genetics play some role in being overweight, Crawford puts most of the blame on high-calorie, high-fat foods as well as too much time watching television or staring at a computer screen.

Overall, boys are more likely to be overweight than girls. Schools are part of both the problem and the solution. Many school districts have trimmed or eliminated physical education, which I believe is a huge mistake.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Brothers Should Make Dad the Judge to Settle the Disagreement

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and have a know-it-all brother who's 17. A month ago, I sold him some of my baseball card duplicates for $10. He has a part-time job, a car and a girlfriend — he always has money. It's just that when he gets it, he spends it. I gave him a week to pay me. After a month he still hadn't paid me, so I went into his room and took the cards back. The next day I sold them to my friend for $12, and he gave me the money right on the spot.

When my brother realized I took back my cards, he got mad and accused me of entering his room without permission and stealing his cards. I told him they were not his cards because he never paid for them; he hadn't kept his word. Of course, he said that he was going to pay me on his next payday. He went moaning to our dad about me being a convict for breaking into his room and stealing his cards. I contend that I was taking what was legally mine.

My dad asked me to write to you to settle the dispute. He said we had to accept your decision. — Ken, Greenville, Miss.

KEN: The dispute wouldn't have occurred if you had talked to your father, explained the problem, and had him be the judge.

Let's call it a tie. Your brother was wrong by not paying for the baseball cards he purchased over a month ago. You were in error for taking the cards without your brother's permission.

Even though I feel you and your brother were equally wrong, I probably would have done the same in your situation.

TEEN HAS TO LIVE WITH STRICT RULES DUE TO SISTER'S ACTIONS

DR. WALLACE: I have a huge problem. My parents are treating me unfairly and I've done nothing whatsoever to deserve this type of treatment. Please allow me to explain. My sister was thrown out of the house last year in June; she was doing a lot of lying to my parents. But when they discovered she was pregnant, they allowed her to return. She and her baby are now living with us.

Because of her track record, my parents are now really strict with me. I've tried to discuss the situation with my mom and dad, but they won't change their minds. I'm 16 and feel like a prisoner in my own house. Help! I'm not allowed to date and I have a 10 p.m. curfew. It's like I'm the prodigal daughter! — Sara, Ames, Iowa.

SARA: It's unfortunate when someone has to suffer for the "sins" of her sister, but it's a regular occurrence — I have the letters as proof. I can also understand why your parents restrict your movements. They don't want you to bring the same consequences on yourself that your sister did, and they think being extra strict with you is the best solution. Both you and I know there are better ways.

Enlist the help of a trusted adult (relative, teacher, counselor, member of the clergy, etc.) to discuss your problem with your parents. Often, parents will ease up on their strictness when someone they respect gives them a broader perspective and offers a reasonable compromise.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Mom's Male Friend Shouldn't Be Giving Orders to Her Daughter

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and have a severe problem that I don't know how to deal with it. My dad died when I was 6 and my mom never remarried, but she does have a male friend whom she has been seeing for more than four years. About five months ago, this man bought the house directly across the street from our house so he could be closer to Mom. He wanted to live with her in our house, but Mom said no because she was afraid the neighbors would talk.

Well, he might as well be living at our house — he's over all the time. He has a full-time job, but he eats supper with us every night and you can add breakfasts and lunches on the weekends. I can handle that, but I can't take him trying to control my life. I'm an average 16-year-old girl. I'm well-liked at school and maintain a solid B average. I'm not into kinky stuff like drugs or alcohol, and I don't give my mom a lot of trouble. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from perfect; however, you could classify me as a pretty good kid.

Ever since he moved across the street, he thinks he has a say in what I can and cannot do. If Mom says I can go out with my friends and be home at midnight, he tells Mom that midnight is too late and I should be home at 11. Then Mom changes her mind and agrees with him. This isn't an isolated case. It happens all the time.

The straw that broke the camel's back happened yesterday. My boyfriend's brother is getting married July 4, and he asked me to go with him to the wedding because he will act as best man. When I was telling Mom about this, her "friend" said I couldn't go because I had to attend a picnic put on by the place where he works. I told him if Mom said I could go, I was going to the wedding, and, regardless, I wasn't attending his work picnic.

Now he's mad at me. Mom is confused and won't give me an answer. What should I do? Sometimes I feel like running away. — Brianna, Erie, Pa.

Brianna: Mom must take charge and inform her "friend" that while she appreciates his input, she has the final say on matters concerning you. She should politely tell him that when she wants his advice on such matters, she will ask for it. Otherwise he should not get involved.

Cut out your letter and my response and give it to Mom. Then have her read it to her friend who has overstayed his welcome and authority!

TEEN FEELS BETTER WITH NEW DIET AND LIFESTYLE

DR. WALLACE: I'm the 13-year-old boy who wrote to you four months ago (I weighed over 200 pounds). I told you I was being called names and I didn't like it. You told me to get on a good, well-balanced diet, and then the fat and names would melt away.

Well, I want you to know that my parents took me to our doctor. With the help of a nutritionist, I am on such a diet. My big problem was my constant eating, which was a lot of junk food. It's been hard, but I have lost 22 pounds in the past 10 weeks.

I'm really excited about the new me. I've got a lot more weight to lose, but with the help of my family I'll make it. I'll be 14 in four more months; I hope to be at my normal weight of 145 pounds by that time. My only problem is that I now need new clothes.

Also, I quit hitting my sister because she stopped calling me names. The last time I didn't sign my letter, but this time I will. Thanks. I'm really happy now. — Chris, Seattle.

CHRIS: I'm thrilled for you. Congratulations! Letters such as yours make writing this column worthwhile.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Drug-Addicted Teen Offers Advice about the Effects of Drug Use

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 20-year-old female who recently dropped out of Stanford University. I graduated from high school with high honors and great expectations for a Stanford degree, but I doubt if I will ever return to school.

I'm not writing this letter to ask for help; I'm writing it for the benefit of your teen readers who might start to experiment with drugs.

I am a drug addict who is unable to stop abusing, despite three attempts at treatment. At first, I started using drugs to experience a high, but eventually I used them just to feel normal. In order to maintain my habit, I've had to lie, cheat, steal and manipulate on a daily basis. I've mentally abused my family and friends, broken the law, had my stomach pumped many times, spent time in several psychiatric hospitals and have attempted suicide — all because of my addiction.

Everybody, including family, friends and doctors, has given up on me because I have repeatedly abused their trust. My drugs are more important to me than these relationships. When I look into the mirror, I can only cry, for I have lost all my self-respect.

I am well aware that if I don't somehow rid myself of drugs, I will soon be dead. I know that abstinence is my only salvation, but it is a constant struggle.

Teens, if you are into drugs, stop before you get hooked. Once you get hooked, you are headed down a path of self-destruction. Before long you will be just like I am and life won't seem worth living. — Marie, Palo Alto, California.

MARIE: Thanks so much for thinking of others in the midst of your own life-and-death struggle. Highly impressionable teens need to hear from people who have fractured their lives through drug abuse.

Marie, when everything on earth has failed you in your quest for sobriety, seek the love and compassion of your creator. You won't be disappointed!

TEEN NEEDS TO TALK TO BOYFRIEND ABOUT PROVING LOVE

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a month. Last night, he asked me if I loved him and I told him yes. Then he said I had two weeks to prove it to him. I don't know what he meant by that.

My girlfriend thinks that proving your love means having sex. I don't think he means anything sexual because he comes from a good home — his father is a preacher and his mother plays the church organ. Should I ask him what he means, or should I play dumb and wait until two weeks go by? — Connie, Stockton, Calif.

CONNIE: Many guys from good homes don't have good things on their minds. It's hard to know what sort of "proof" your boyfriend may have been thinking of other than sex, but whatever it was, the fact that it was delivered as an ultimatum is itself offensive and ought to put you on guard.

Rather than "playing dumb" and waiting for the two weeks to pass, you should simply ask him what he meant. This is called communication — I highly recommend it. And if his answer indicates he's a jerk with a one-track mind, tell him goodbye immediately.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Discovers that She Might Have Had a Sister

DR. WALLACE: I am 17 and live with my parents. I am an only child. About a month ago, I was looking for something in the attic when I stumbled across an old photo album. In it, there were pictures of my parents at a younger age with a young child. On the back of some photos were the words: Janet, (Mom's name), Richard (Dad's name) and Rachel. The pictures of Rachel were taken over several years and the oldest ones seem to show her at about age 5 or 6. This has bothered me very much. I think Rachel is my sister and maybe something happened to her.

What should I do? Confront my parents on my find, or pretend I never saw the pictures? Now that I think about it, my parents have been extremely protective of me. I could never play in the snow like other kids my age, and I was rushed to the doctor at the slightest sign of a cold.

There is also the possibility of asking my grandmother (Dad's mom), because I'm sure she would know what happened to Rachel. It just blows my mind to think that I probably had a sister and that nobody told me about her. I took a picture of Rachel and my parents out of the album; I will have proof if I do confront my parents.

Your input will be appreciated very much. I love my parents and do not want to hurt them, yet I need to know about this. — Nameless, Buffalo, N.Y.

NAMELESS: Tell your parents exactly what happened — that you were in the attic looking for something when you found a photo album that had pictures of them with a girl named Rachel. Then show them the picture. Ask them if Rachel was their daughter, and if so, what happened to her. Ask all of your questions and if you are not satisfied with the answers, then feel free to talk to your grandmother about Rachel.

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding her, you should know all the facts. A child's life — and perhaps death — should not be hidden from a sibling. If your parents were waiting until you were "old enough" to tell you, clearly that time is here.

TEEN HOPES GRANDFATHER WILL QUIT SMOKING

DR. WALLACE: Last month, my dad's father came to live with us because my grandmother died. We have a big house with many rooms so it's nice to have Grandfather with us.

The only problem is that he smokes. He usually goes outside to light up, but once in awhile he smokes in the house, which I don't like. I hate the stinky smell that it leaves, and I don't care to breathe secondhand smoke.

When I tell Grandfather to stop because I don't want him dying of lung cancer, he says he's too old to quit smoking. Please help. My parents allow my grandfather to do anything that he wants, even when it's wrong. — Shelly, Cumberland, Md.

SHELLY: Your grandfather is not too old to kick the smoking habit and extend his life. It's never too late to quit smoking.

According to a recent study, many older people believe that once you've smoked for 40 or 50 years, you have nothing to gain by quitting. That's absolutely untrue. Dr. John Holbrook of the University of Utah, a participant in the study, noted that no matter how old a person is or how long he or she has smoked, there are benefits to quitting. Some begin to appear almost immediately.

Please make sure your parents and grandfather read this column. If your grandfather chooses not to quit smoking, your parents must stop him from smoking in the house. Your health is more important than grandfather's addictive habit of enjoying cigarettes.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.