DEAR SUSAN: Your reader claims she can't meet any young single men at the interest groups on Long Island. Susan, you need to remind her that the women and seniors who DO go to those groups could know some and would gladly act as matchmaker. While she's investigating this possibility, she should actively widen her circle of friends. The more the better. Thanks for all your interesting columns. — Marguerite J., Bournemouth, Great Britain

DEAR MARGUERITE: It's wonderful to hear from a reader with her own advice to share — and it's solid! The truth is, being unmarried in Great Britain isn't all that different from the good old USA. Yes, there may be some words and customs that don't translate well, but there can‘t be too many of them. Good people recognize each other by the spark in their eyes. Because eyes are the windows of the soul, they say it all. (Frauds and users need not apply.) Next time, remember that words are superfluous when people are compatible. And make it a point to check out your latest interest's baby blues. They are the truest barometer of inner emotions. And cool singles know to begin their checklists on an interesting newcomer from the top down. Eyes first. That could be a help in the mad world of dating, Marguerite, and the traffic of so-called eligibles that comes with it. But as you so wisely suggest, friends are the mainstay of successful singleness. "Dates" come and go, dressy events are scattered along the way, but friends — true and proven allies — can become your second family. (The ones you choose!) They'll come in all colors and shapes, and as you grow, the kaleidoscope of friendship will expand and change. I wish it to you, Marguerite, and to everyone out there in Readerland.

HOT IDEA. More than a few sleepless nights have seen me groggily lower myself onto my yoga mat and ease into the lotus position. I needed to think about the qualities of poets and of warriors, and somehow it couldn't be done during daylight hours. I had to be sure no phones would jangle my soul while I was digesting this most important issue, so a lot of thinking was done in the dark. There, in the pitch blackness, a question formed: Don't women also need to be warriors?! Without a doubt they do! Their poetic side seems to be self-evident; making life pretty for our loved ones is (almost) second nature for the female of the race.

As for warriors, well, now that we're emancipated (ahem) from drudgery, we can and must explore our warrior side. It's there — have no doubt about that — but in the olden days (before liberation), we needed to be diplomatic and tiptoe around our strengths. (Remember?) We were so fearful it would rattle the man in our life and jostle his ego, upsetting the dynamics on the home front. But now, a generation later, we're exhibiting our warrior side more and more often, with less and less fear and more assurance. Send along any thoughts you may have on this hot-button issue. Write in soon! (Too many sleepless nights aren't good for poets or warriors!)

DEAR SUSAN: I hope you received lots of letters crying out against Name Withheld from Long Island, the reader who accused you of male-bashing. How any man could see your remark as that … is a strain on my imagination. I'll use restraint, as you did, and avoid saying that he's got problems. (Let's hope he's single or pray for his wife.) And let's pray for him, that his doc will give him some "happy pills"! He must be miserable!

Problem: I lingered too long over my coffee and looked at your remark again. If I read it from a certain angle, you CAN read into it that, well, good men ARE hard to find. Not necessarily scarce, just hard to find in terms of matching a woman's makeup … as it is likewise for the man seeking the woman who fits. But you've still got to be in a certain cynical place to look at your remark that selectively.

Keeps you on your toes? — Manny M., Sebastopol, Calif.

DEAR MANNY: … Which should explain why I waltz around my computer en pointe! There is some bending (aka misinterpretation) of my intentions out in Readerland. Not too much, I suppose, because loyalty runs deep in my readership, and those who stick by me are probably likeminded — or nearly so. Compatible, to say the least. But (I may regret saying this) it's letters such as this one that push me to a higher plane. Which translates as more refined prose and more fully expressed advice. It's the friction that inspires new ideas and better advice. And that adds up to improvement, which is my Holy Grail. It's the friction of misunderstanding and disagreement that leads to new ideas because it makes me think. And that's my reason for being.

Write to Susan Deitz c/o this newspaper. She will answer all letters that come with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Or you may e-mail her at info@creators.com.

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