Dear John: I'm living with "Samantha," the woman for whom I left my wife. It's her place and I pay rent, but out of habit, she's taken the "lead" role in all the decision-making issues. Now that we live together, I realize that she is a control freak. Samantha has a "forceful" but gently persuasive manner, and is used to getting what she wants. On the other hand, I'm a techie who is used to straightforward communication. Our biggest problem is that Samantha takes liberties with the truth. Many times she'll make a clearly non-factual statement that echoes her opinion, then try to pass it off as fact. Even if it is clearly untrue, she'll defend her point to the death, and then expects me to agree with her. If I tried the same stunt, she'd call me a liar in a second. What do I do now? — In Love with a Liar, in Manhattan

Dear In Love with a Liar: Your relationship, which began as a covert romance, is now being tested by the realities of day-to-day interaction. You indicate that you feel she is controlling, manipulative and a liar. I would guess that your newfound feelings about her are the cause or the effect of your regret about jumping from one unhappy relationship to another. My suggestion: Move out so that you can give yourself time to determine what you want in a relationship, and what you are willing to give.

Date her, but date others as well. If you wish for this or your next relationship to succeed, listen, speak up and compromise.

Dear John: There is a man I like, whom I've known for over a year. I'm 66, and he's 71. We "dated" for a while. I put that word in quotes because it feels awkward at my age to say we are dating. We'd go out for dinner and dancing and have a wonderful time. We dance beautifully together! We see each other from time to time at the club. On those nights in which we come separately, he acts extremely casual toward me. When we're out together on an official date, he's very polite, considerate and attentive. Recently, though, he stopped calling me. When I ran into him again and asked why, he seemed to like the fact that I had missed him. At my age, I'm starting to think that maybe I shouldn't stand on ceremony. My question is this: Shall I be forward and call him and ask HIM to go out dancing? Can I call him sometimes just to say: "Hello, how are you?" — Time Is Short, in Denver, Colo.

Dear Time Is Short: Everyone appreciates a call and an offer for an evening out. Both of you seem to have fun in each other's company. If the call is friendly without being pushy or needy, then by all means, pick up the phone and ask him out! Eventually, you might also consider asking out other gentlemen. Every now and then, you might also consider pulling together a group of men and women. People that make calls find that they are the first ones to get a call when others are looking for something to do as well. Life is too short not to be enjoyed to the fullest, so pick up the phone.