Dear Larry: As an adult man, how do you show to others that you are not racially biased? Especially when it is so hard to make friends in general, much less to reach out to others outside your circle.

It's very hard to have a diverse group of friends when people seem so busy with their own lives. And when you are a married man with kids, you are much more involved in group activities than meeting individuals. Trying to find other men to add to your life is not easy when you are older than 40.

When I was in college, I had two roommates; Eric was black, and Chris was white. We all got along fine but eventually drifted apart as we got into the later years of college. Once I entered the real world, my friends became those people I met through work. My job is such that minorities do not frequent the paths I travel every day. I decided to make a concerted effort to be inclusive in regard to my friends.

This opportunity happened when I went to work for a large corporation. I was able to meet and have five friends of different ethnic groups. We would play pickup basketball at the YMCA and hang together. This changed when I got injured and had to quit the sports.

The maintaining of relationships also became more difficult when I got married and had children. My priorities changed. I got involved in the normal kid sports and all of their activities. The only time I could do all of this was on Saturdays because on Sundays, there was church. Even on Sundays, there were still things such as soccer, golf and tennis.

Currently I have a small business, and because that has added an even greater demand upon my time, the ability to expand my circle of friends is even more problematic.

Once I started hiring employees, I decided to be very diverse and thought maybe a friendship could develop. This has not worked as I thought.

I tried to reach out to them and invite them to join me in my personal hobbies: fishing on my boat and golfing. I have offered a free fishing day to several men in the past three months. My only black acquaintance initially said "yes" and then canceled twice because of his busy schedule. My only Asian acquaintance said "yes" and went once. He caught a big fish. Now his life has changed. He got a divorce and has to be with his two small children on the weekends.

The idea of inviting a woman is completely out of the question. If I dared to do that, my marriage quickly would be in trouble.

Larry, I think I am a well-rounded guy. I love to talk politics, history and sports. I love to talk with people, and it is easy for me to start up a conversation. Please don't suggest I go to Starbucks or a coffee shop like that. People in those situations don't like others bothering them because they feel you are intruding.

How does one go about getting minority friends? Also, if I do not have any minority friends, does that make me a racist? — James

Dear James: Not having minority friends does not make you a racist. A racist is someone who believes one race is superior to another and acts in a discriminatory manner. It is obvious that is not you.

I am at a loss as to why you are so determined and working so hard to have minority friends. What is going on in your life? Have you been accused of racism, or are you experiencing white guilt? Write me back, and give me more information.

I believe you should just relax, be friendly to whomever crosses your life's path, and let friendships happen without all of the scheming and manipulation.

To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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