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Shall we Marry?

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Q. I am a 75-year-old bachelor who never married. Currently, I am dating a lady who is four years younger. We are in love! She has never married either. We have been dating four months and believe we are a good match. However, we are hesitant to marry because of our ages.

What is your opinion?

A. Most happy marriages are based on love, hope and fear ... and just plain good luck! The difference between being single and having a partner demands a different outlook, as perfection does not exist. Would you be happy and contented if you and your wife were and agreeable 75 percent of the time you are together?

To decide if you're willing to make this commitment, consider sitting down and listing your expectations. For your list, do you both have a religious commitment? Who will handle your checkbook? If a family member objects to your marriage, what will your decision be? Do you want to share each other's avocations? Are you sexually compatible? And are you going to be contented living with someone 24 hours a day? If you decline marriage, will this be your last opportunity?

Four months is a short time to get to know each other well. Consider taking a few more months to get to know each other better.

Everyone's habits become ingrained as we age, and making transitions can become a challenge.

As Peter de Vries is quoted saying, "The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds; they mature slowly."

Q. As grandparents, we feel we are out of the loop with our families. We have gotten the wakeup call and realize that both our adult children and grandchildren are wired into the new world of communication, without us being aboard. We realize that our disconnect will only increase as new technology becomes available.

We are in our 70s, and because of the cost, our unwillingness to change, procrastination and other factors, we have chosen not to purchase a computer.

A. Knowing that you are now willing to purchase a computer, you will be amazed that by simply being able to communicate via email will in itself allow you to rejoin your family's world.

The purchasing of a computer with email capability will work wonders for you.

You are the family historians and are the only ones who can remember and tell and explain how, when, why, where and who did what during your lifetime. The family will be asking!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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