DR. WALLACE: My mother and father divorced when I was 6. I am now 13. My parents' marriage ended because my mother decided she wanted to live with her boss. I stayed with my dad, and we both moved in with his parents — my grandparents. They have been wonderful to me. My dad was busy working so my grandparents actually became "mom" and "dad."

Two years ago, my father was killed coming home late from work. A drunk driver hit my father's car head on. He died instantly. The drunk driver died a day later.

After my parents divorced, I still had contact with my mother. We saw each other three or four times a month. After my father died, I saw her about twice a week.

A month ago, my mom and her husband were divorced. Then my mother came over to our house and told "Mom and Dad" that she would like me to live with her again. After she left, my grandparents told me that if I decided to live with my birth mother they would understand. If that was my decision, they wouldn't try to encourage me to stay with them. They also said I was their daughter no matter what, and that I should decide what I think is best for me. I'm really confused and don't know what I should do. Can you help me decide? —Nameless, Jackson, Miss.

NAMELESS: A decision has been thrust upon you that requires wisdom far beyond your years to make — yet no one can make it for you. Fortunately, whomever you choose NOT to live with will STILL love you and be part of your life — so you can't make the "wrong" choice.

Discuss this with both mothers, and if allowed to live on a trial basis with your birth mom, return to her and stay in close contact with your other "mom and dad."

MY BOYFRIEND FAILED HIS PHYSICAL EXAM

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend was planning to join the Army, but he was shocked when he flunked his physical examination because the Army said they found traces of marijuana in his system. Chuck did smoke pot occasionally, but he was clean for over two weeks before the physical.

He did drink two days before he left, thinking that he was going to be Army-bound. That's because we had a huge party for him and by party's end he was smashed. Yet he told me that nothing was said about the alcohol. What is going on here? —Abby, Santa Fe, N.M.

ABBY: Your boyfriend should have been marijuana-free for at least a month, if not longer, before taking the physical. That's how long this drug stays in the system. The prime chemical in marijuana, THC, hides in fatty tissue. This means that THC can be stored for long periods of time in the body's high-fat organs, such as the lungs, brain and reproductive organs. Alcohol, because it is water-soluble, leaves the body within hours.

This would be an excellent time for your boyfriend to stop using marijuana completely and get retested at a later date.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.