Classic Ann Landers

Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: I read the letter from "Slow Boil in California," who resented the amount of time her husband gave his ex-wife. He apparently helped his ex-wife with her taxes, visited his ex-mother-in-law when she was dying and spent 20 minutes at a time talking to his ex on the phone, discussing the kids' grades and upcoming events.

I say, if "Slow Boil" wanted a man with no baggage, she should have chosen one. When two people have children together, that makes them a family whether they are together or not. That husband should help his ex-wife no matter how he feels about her, simply because she is the mother of his children. His new wife should not feel threatened by this. It can actually be beneficial to her as well as to his children if there is no hostility.

After a divorce, a lot of healing can take place when the ex-partners are civil and kind to one another. If there is no civility, bad feelings turn into bad words that turn into bad behavior. The children then learn by example to perpetuate hate and anger.

As a child of divorce, it has given my siblings and me great comfort to know my father still cares enough about my mother to help her out when she needs it and that we can still enjoy family events together. It has also made us appreciate our stepmother for being so generous and loving. "Slow Boil" should be thankful she found a man with a bigger heart than most. — Grateful in Plano, Texas

Dear Grateful: You've written a letter that is compassionate and sensible. Because you wrote, a great many divorced readers may take a closer look at their feelings about their ex-husband or ex-wife and be less rigid and a lot more conciliatory.

Dear Ann Landers: At this time of year, many taxpayers may be worried about the Internal Revenue Service.

In 1884, President Chester Arthur created enrolled agents to help sort out claims to the Treasury arising from the Civil War. Today, EAs prepare tax returns, provide assistance to taxpayers who need help in complying with our national, state and local tax laws, and, most importantly, help taxpayers in disputes with the IRS.

The 10,000 members of the National Association of Enrolled Agents (NAEA) work with millions of individual and small-business taxpayers each year. Enrolled agents also help people who have not filed returns in many years. We understand that many taxpayers have had serious personal problems that caused them to miss filing a return, which then snowballed into several missed years. Our concern is to help the taxpayer get through the fear of the government and become compliant once again.

If readers need assistance, NAEA has a referral line to help taxpayers find an enrolled agent located near them. The toll-free number is 855-880-NAEA. — Carol W. Thompson, chair, NAEA Public Information Committee, Monterey, Calif.

Dear Carol Thompson: Your letter certainly has put a kind face and extended a friendly hand to those who are delinquent in their taxes and afraid to come out from behind the bushes. You've reduced the fear in a great many people who will now file because you wrote. Everybody wins. Thank you.

Gem of the Day (credit Jane Fonda): When a man like Robert Redford ages, they say, "Those lines make him look very distinguished." When they look at me, they say, "She looks a lot older than when I saw her in her last movie."

Lonesome? Take charge of your life and turn it around. Write to receive Ann Landers' booklet "How To Make Friends and Stop Being Lonely." Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $4.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Friends, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

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