Rep. Steve King, R-Auschwitz, is the exact reason why his party couldn't win the presidency last time around.

The Republicans couldn't win because, while the idea of less government and lower taxes is appealing to a majority of Americans, the party refuses to cleanse itself of bigots, amateur geneticists, woman-haters, quasi-Christian snake-handlers and just plain old race-baiting dumbasses. While people like King play well with the kind of drooling gun nuts who wear camo pants to church, the rest of us are scared nearly to death by the Republican Party's Hitler-inspired far right wing.

Lately, King's been insisting that most Mexicans who sneak into America "weigh 130 pounds, and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they've been hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert."

Drop into a meatpacking plant in Iowa, you King-sized fool. In there, Mexicans build their calf muscles by standing at long tables, deboning hogs and cattle. Check your neighbor's landscaper, who is building his calves pushing a mower. You know so much about cantaloupes, go see who picks 'em out in California.

Do some illegal Mexicans smuggle drugs? You bet they do. They smuggle them up north, to cornfield-clotted Iowa, where the weed is eagerly bought by white people, white kids named "Dwayne" and their girlfriends, many of whom are named "Amber."

The drug business wouldn't be worth a plugged peso if white people in America weren't stupid enough to buy any and every kind of intoxicant. King oughta understand that his career also depends on the stupidity of the American people. If people smartened up, Paco the Drug Mule and King would BOTH be out of business by next week.

The leadership of the Republican Party knows there are anti-American, anti-Christian bigots in their midst, but they won't throw them out of the party.

Way back in the early part of his squalid, ignorant little career, the Republican Party should have sent one of its more enlightened members to threaten the life of Ku Klux King.

"Look," the older, wiser Republican might have said. "We are the party of fiscal responsibility, the party of smaller government, the party of low taxes and small business.

"What we're not is the party of bigots, and if you want to believe a lot of stupid, unsupportable lies about people who are not white, then you need to change your mind very quickly. If you don't want to change your mind, then this party will disown you and beg people not to vote for you. If you think we're kidding, try us. We take that "all men are created equal" stuff very seriously, and if you don't, then you should go out in the woods and live with those shaven-headed Nazi clowns who think the Holocaust never really happened.

But the Republican Party doesn't do that, not at all.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creatorscom