He failed a key exam, and a few hours later, he bought a high-powered rifle. I think you can guess who "he" is — the accused "Dark Knight" madman, James Holmes. But can you guess why he did it?

The explanation haunting me is this: He's a product of the "everyone gets a trophy" generation.

Now, let me hasten to say that I have no degrees in psychology, nor have I examined the man. Let me add that the vast majority of kids, even those with shelves full of meaningless trophies, do not end up shooting theaters full of people.

Nonetheless, as founder of the book and blog "Free-Range Kids," I've spent a lot of time watching our culture trying to convince today's kids that they have not failed at anything, ever.

There are schools that have outlawed using red pens for corrections, for fear it's too traumatizing. In Canada, a veteran science teacher was just fired for giving kids a zero on homework they didn't hand in. Closer to home, my own son brought home a bright, shiny trophy for coming in eighth place in his bowling league.

Out of nine teams. Apparently, the league hoped my boy never would notice that when it comes to bowling, he stinks.

Our generation is shielding our kids from failure because we don't think they can handle it — even though kids always have. Sure, it feels bad to lose a game or get a bad grade, but it is only recently that teachers, parents, principals and coaches decided that kids are too sensitive to bounce back from a single setback.

And then we wonder why kids can't bounce back from a single setback. Simple! They've had no practice.

In no way am I excusing James Holmes of the heinous crimes he will be charged with. But if you don't gradually get immunized to failure, it can overwhelm you when it finally comes along.

Compare Holmes' mental and moral meltdown with a story sent to my blog by a woman named Meg. I'd asked readers to tell me about a childhood experience with failure. She wrote:

"Last year my mother generously paid for my 13 year old son to attend band camp and he absolutely loved it! She agreed to pay for it again this year on one condition: he had to start writing thank you notes instead of forgetting as he often does. Well you can guess where this is going. He got a nice Christmas present from my mom and promptly forgot to write a thank you note, and I pointedly did not remind him.

"So she told him she would not be paying for band camp. If he wanted to go he had to come up with the money himself. He panicked a bit 'How can I come up with $300?!?'"

Well, here's how: He made fliers advertising his services. Pretty soon, he was walking neighbors' dogs and mowing lawns. Baby-sitting. Raking. In two months, he'd earned the money for his camp — and something far more valuable.

Resilience. He'd failed and picked himself back up. That's something he'll have to do again someday — and again after that. If his parents had handed him $300 and told him he didn't do anything wrong, who knows how he'd have reacted the next time he screwed up?

Chances are, he wouldn't have bought an assault weapon, of course. But he also wouldn't have had that bedrock of inner confidence that comes from knowing that just because you're down doesn't mean you're out.

We do our kids no favors by shielding them from the fact that they're not always winners. In fact, we may be turning them into losers.

Lenore Skenazy is the author of "Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry)" and "Who's the Blonde That Married What's-His-Name? The Ultimate Tip-of-the-Tongue Test of Everything You Know You Know — But Can't Remember Right Now." To find out more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.