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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
19 Mar 2011
Afraid To Watch the News, Millions Turn to Fox

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11 Mar 2011
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LONG BEACH, CA (The Borowitz Report) — A new combatant entered the so-called tablet war today, and it's … Read More.

5 Mar 2011
Unemployment Rose Last Week by Two and a Half Men

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — The economic recovery received an unexpected jolt today as the Labor … Read More.

Poll: One out of Five Americans Do Not Believe Obama Exists


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — In what might be the most serious challenge to Barack Obama's legitimacy as president, a new poll shows that one out of five Americans is not convinced that Obama exists.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota's Opinion Research Institute, reveals that 23 percent of those surveyed "strongly agreed" with the statement, "I believe that Barack Obama's birth was faked, just like the moon landing."__

The poll results coincide with the recent rise of the so-called "Exister" movement, a group that believes that Obama is an optical illusion created by the Democratic Party to raise taxes and bail out banks. __"The Birthers say that Obama's lack of a birth certificate means he was born in Kenya," says Jerrilene Rance, a leading Exister. "We believe it's proof that he was never born."__ Rance says that while President George W.

Bush was criticized for disappearing every August, "Obama is never there to begin with."

__Appearing Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press," Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., made comments about Obama's existence that only stoked the controversy. __"I've spoken to him face to face, and I take him at his word that he exists," he said. "Unless, of course, I was talking to a hologram."__

At the White House, spokesman Robert Gibbs brushed aside a question about the president's existence, saying that Obama had "no comment."__ Rance offered this response: "The reason he has no comment is that he has no mouth."

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book "The Republican Playbook." To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at



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