I'm an Enemy of the People

By Marc Dion

February 27, 2017 4 min read

I'm too young to have been a big fan of what they used to call "protest music." By the time I was in high school, there was a lot more disco than there was discontent.

Of course, back then, you could still get unionized factory work, so it was pretty easy to sing, "I will survive," or even "Ring my bell." My high school graduate father had a pretty good job, so he was able to help me help myself through college and I was able to work my own way through graduate school.

I emerged with over a decade of grimy work experience and a great desire to work in news.

I have done just that for 33 years, for a wire service, for bigger and smaller papers, covering zoning board meetings in a number of towns, standing on the sidewalk, taking notes as the dead guy went into the wagon, interviewing blackened, tired firefighters after they finally got it under control.

When I became a columnist, I started making a lot of people mad. That didn't make me feel important, but it didn't scare me either. It's part of the job.

Most recently, the president of our great nation has decided that me, and people like me, are enemies of the people. I've never been called that before, but I've read enough history to know that "enemies of the people' is what it says on the exit sign for the concentration camp, the re-education camp, the killing fields and the interrogation room.

I wrote a song the other day. I call it "Enemy of the People," and I'd like it played at my funeral if the secret police give my corpse back to my wife. I don't really have a tune in mind, but I imagine any half-good guitar player could write some music to go with the words. I tried rapping it, and it wasn't half bad, but I think I like it best as a talking blues, the kind of stuff whiny-nosed old Bob Dylan used to do.

It goes something like this:

I'm an enemy of the people.

I'm an enemy of the state.

They're gonna pull out all my fingernails.

Sean Spicer just can't wait.

I'm an enemy of the people,

and when I can't be found,

I'll be hangin' from a meathook

in a cellar underground.

I'm an enemy of the people.

I may be a secret Jew.

I'm probably a socialist,

so I'm not at all like you.

I'm an enemy of the people.

I'm an enemy of the state.

They're gonna beat me with a rubber hose.

Steve Bannon just can't wait

Donald trump says I'm the enemy,

so you know it must be true.

He might lie to the IRS,

but he wouldn't lie to you.

I'm an enemy of the people,

and there ain't nothin' worse.

I won't be the only one to go,

But I'm damn sure goin' first

They're gonna hang me with piano wire,

and after they are through,

who's gonna write the story,

when they finally come for you?

Well, that's it, my brave little squeak at the gathering darkness. If I'm going down, I might as well go down with a joke in my mouth. And if anyone puts this to music and performs it, send a video to [email protected] I'd like to hear it while there's still time.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, "King of the World on $14 an Hour" is a collection of his best 2015 columns and is available for Nook and Kindle.

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