DR. WALLACE: My parents are strict, strict, strict. My father is a preacher, and my mother directs the church choir. I'm 16 and a pretty good daughter when it comes to getting grades, doing chores and behaving myself.

I'm not permitted to go on a date in a car until I'm 17, but they do allow me to have a boyfriend. However, the only time we can be together is at my house when one of my parents is home. Of course, that means we can never spend a moment alone without a pair of eyes watching us. My boyfriend really cares for me and that's why he continues to see me under this unreasonable parental rule.

I've lobbied for my parents to allow us to see a movie that they approve. They could even take us to and from the theater, but the answer is always the same: "Sorry, wait until you're 17." I do have patience, but I won't be 17 until September, so that means that my boyfriend and I will be limited to seeing each other at my house all summer. That's disastrous!

I realize that my parents set the rules for me, but I would like to hear what you have to say about all this. —Carmen, Houston, Tex.

CARMEN: Even strict parents eventually have to let go of their children, and letting go gradually is far more sensible than doing so all at once — when the child is suddenly 18 and on her own.

In general, I believe that teens, depending on their maturity and dependability, should be allowed to date by age 16. Of course, they must be trustworthy and demonstrate the ability to make good decisions. If Mom and Dad have no reason to doubt your trustworthiness, I think they should allow you and your boyfriend to go out on real dates this summer. Indeed, your proposal, to be chauffeured to and from approved movies, sounds reasonable.

One of the most difficult jobs of parenting is learning to trust one's children out on their own. Wise parents let their children show how well they do with limited, gradually increasing freedoms. This way, trust builds slowly. If the trust is violated, of course, some of the freedom must be withdrawn.

HALF OF TEEN GIRLS HAVE BEEN ON A DIET

DR. WALLACE: Why is anorexia nervosa (self-starvation) considered to be a female eating disorder? Why do the guys get away with not having this enormous problem? —Nameless, Cumberland, Md.

NAMELESS: Girls are about 10 times more likely to develop an eating disorder than boys. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, anorexics can die from this disorder. The huge discrepancy between males and females can be traced to social pressure. Our society looks down on overweight females while tolerating extra weight on males.

A University of Missouri research study found that 50 percent of all females have been on a diet at some point in their lives before entering high school, and, in some cases, mothers have encouraged their daughters to go on a diet. But dieting can be a risk factor. The more a person diets, the more likely an eating disorder will develop.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.