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Is a Person Who Only Drinks Occasionally an Alcoholic?
DR. WALLACE: Jimmy and I are both 19. We have been together for more than three years. He is a great guy, treats me with ultimate respect 100 percent of the time, and we have talked about marriage. At times, he does drink too much and, when that happens, I do the driving if we are together. It seems like he doesn't drink often, but when he does drink, he drinks too much. This bothers my parents very much. In fact, they consider him to have a drinking problem, and even to be an alcoholic. I keep telling them that he doesn't drink often. Sometimes he abstains from alcohol for several weeks or longer. It's not like he is drinking alcohol every day.
Doesn't this mean that he enjoys alcohol, but that he doesn't require having alcohol regularly? Of course, I wish he abstained from alcohol 100 percent of the time, but I honestly think he can control when and where he drinks. Please tell me if someone who drinks only occasionally can be classified as an alcoholic. I'm sure the answer will be "No," but I want to show your answer to my mom and dad. Also, can you tell me exactly what an alcoholic is defined as? —Betsy, Carson City, Nev.
BETSY: According to "The Teenage Alcoholic," an article by Life Skills Education, being an alcoholic does not mean that you drink every day or once a week. To be an alcoholic is to regularly lose control of your drinking when you do decide to drink; you are no longer in control of the amount of alcohol you consume.
For example, If a person drinks only once a week, but on each occasion this person can't drive a car, gets into a fight, verbally abuses friends and loved ones or blacks out, and then continues this drinking pattern on future occasions, this person is an alcoholic. Eventually, an alcoholic's drinking damages his family, his friends and himself.
When people drink to excess, it's basically for two different reasons. One is that they are unhappy. They may feel inadequate, worthless or mad at the world. Another reason is that they consume alcohol to lose their anxiety, self-doubts and fears.
Alcoholism is an illness that drinkers don't choose to have. But, like any illness, it will become worse if not treated professionally. Alcoholism can be arrested and go into remission and stay that way as long as the alcoholic remains free of alcohol.
It's not for me to comment on Jimmy's drinking habit, but I hope you have been educated on this subject so that you can make an educated evaluation. Please don't consider marriage until you can be 100 percent sure that Jimmy's drinking won't hinder the oath, "Till death do we part."
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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7 Comments | Post Comment
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LW1 - let's be clear. Anyone who can not control how much he drinks, who almost always drinks too much when he does drink, has a problem with alcohol. If you marry this guy, be prepared to marry his problems including his alcohol problem. Are you prepared to be his babysitter, oops designated driver, for the rest of your life? As for why people drink - I'm sure that many people have self esteem issues etc, and I'm sure that if you tell your boyfriend that, he will argue about it with you and claim that his self esteem is fine, he's not anxious, etc. However, a more simple truth is that a lot of people drink because they just feel better when they drink. Their body has a chemical reaction with alcohol that makes them addicts. If you're not wired that way, you may never truly get that. They can't fix the way their body reacts to alcohol, and neither can you. All they can do is not drink at all. Suggest you & your bf give up drinking entirely, or at least until you're 21 & won't get arrested for it, and see how things go.
Comment: #1
Posted by: kai archie
Sun Apr 28, 2013 9:18 PM
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I see Dear Abby had a column today on e-cigarettes. While that's good, I want to know what Dr. Wallace thinks of them.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Bobaloo
Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:12 AM
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Bobaloo, I hope you've written to Dr. Wallace to ask him directly, using the "write the author" link above.
I've never seen him reply in his column's comments section, nor harvest questions or feedback from his column, the way several other Creators advice columnists do regularly. That leads me to believe he doesn't know this comments section exists, or else that he watched it eagerly for awhile after he joined Creators.com, but gave up when he saw no comments and hasn't checked it since 2007. Or that health concerns prevent him from reading here.
Given that I've yet to see a cell phone, answering machine, DVD, Facebook, Skype or even email reference made in his column, I do wonder whether he is continuing to produce new content or whether Creators is simply harvesting/circulating his older columns (which I know date back at least to 1981, possibly earlier). This wouldn't be unheard of; Creators offers classic (i.e., previously distributed) columns from Ann Landers, and if he was not widely syndicated in the 1980s or 1990s, this would indeed be "new content" for almost all newspapers.
So if you REALLY want the e-cig thoughts, email him. There's no guarantee that he'll answer, of course. But your odds of getting that response by complaining to us BTL look to be about as bad as if you were complaining here that you demand your favorite restaurant give you a refund for poor service last night -- they don't read here either!
Comment: #3
Posted by: hedgehog
Wed May 1, 2013 4:36 AM
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hedgehog, if creators were just reprinting his old letters, they would say so, as in the case of the Ann Landers column. I read an interview with Dr. Wallace dated from 2012 where he stated that he still receives letters every single day and replies to them. This I don't believe (for some of the same reasons you do, the no reference to cell phones and e-mail, as well as the fact that he runs the same letters over and over again, often times word for word with just the names and dates changed). I think Wallace is recycling the old letters, not creators.
I have to disagree with Dr. Wallace's answer here. Of course the LW's boyfriend has a drinking problem, but that does not make him an alcoholic. Getting drunk and disorderly is definitely a problem but it does not make you an alcoholic. If that were true, then I was a raging alcoholic in college!
Comment: #4
Posted by: jjmg
Wed May 1, 2013 12:58 PM
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I think there's a few possibilities here. The first is that your BF is an alcoholic. The second is that at only 19 he is an inexperienced drinker and hasn't yet learned how to pace himself, know his limits and when to cut himself off. Only time will tell which one he is. Good luck to you.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Keebler
Wed May 1, 2013 6:18 PM
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if creators were just reprinting his old letters, they would say so, as in the case of the Ann Landers column
*************
Well, not necessarily. Ann Landers is dead, so the explanation is necessary; also, I believe she was caught in a reruns kerfluffle in the 1980s that made her brand more conscious of the need for truth in labeling.
Moreover,though, her column has been syndicated...and distributed far more widely... than this one. If Dr. Wallace signed the deal with Creators.com in, say, 2006, then these columns are indeed new content for creators.com AND the publications it serves (who are the primary (paying!) clientele Creators.com serves. And creators.com may never have required in its contract new content.
I don't doubt that Dr. Wallace ispand answering letters "every day" -- but I'm not sure he's answering more than 1 per day!
Comment: #6
Posted by: hedgehog
Wed May 1, 2013 6:49 PM
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LW1: You're 19 and should have the intelligence to do your own research on the subject. Also common sense should play a factor as well. He's a teenage boy - not an alcoholic. Right now you and wallace appear to be in some sort of moron contest. Don't get married and don't breed until you grow as a person.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Diana
Fri May 3, 2013 4:01 PM
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