'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: I'm a pretty good student and a good athlete. I play on the school teams in tennis and swimming. I'm also told that I'm fairly attractive. I guess that I have quite a few things going for me. My problem is that when someone pays me even the slightest compliment I can't accept it. I usually say, "You're just saying that" or "That isn't true." When that happens and my parents hear me, they get upset and tell me to graciously say, "Thanks for the compliment," but somehow I find that difficult. Any help will be appreciated. —Amanda, Portland, Ore.

AMANDA: Many people have a difficult time having praise heaped on them. But, Dr. Robert Bell, a Houston, Tex. psychologist, suggests that there are ways to receive a flattering remark without feeling flustered.

First he says it's important to realize that the main reason praise is so difficult to accept is because "We're afraid of appearing egotistical or insincere." "Surprisingly," he adds, "the way a person feels about himself or herself doesn't really have much to do with it. Even average people with fairly good self-esteem are embarrassed. It's just that people are more accustomed to being criticized than complimented."

Once a teen accepts the fact that it's natural to want, need and look forward to compliments, he or she will be able to accept them more gracefully. So, the next time someone sings praises about you, "acknowledge with a smile and a simple 'Thank you,'" says Janet Weiner in Seventeen magazine. "Then leave the gesture alone," she adds. "Don't qualify the compliment or put yourself down."

When giving a compliment, make it easy to receive.

Weiner suggests that you be specific and say, "You look great in that color," rather than "You look great." Also, don't exaggerate compliments. Just be honest and direct without gushing and expecting a response. You don't want to force someone to say, "I know I'm great," just to shut you up.

Learning to receive and give compliments gracefully will leave you feeling happy inside and can be the first step toward new friendships. "After all, Dr. Bell concludes, "People appreciate compliments, and get closer when they share their good feelings."

And we all know compliments are more fun than criticism, so learn to offer (and receive) sincere compliments. They don't cost anything and the results are always positive!

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES PROMOTE HEALTHY SKIN

DR. WALLACE: I read in a health magazine that Vitamin E will help skin be healthy, smooth and clear. The article said not to take it in tablet form, so I want to know what foods contain Vitamin E? —Nameless, DeKalb, Ill.

NAMELESS: Vitamin E protects the cells of the body from damage and degeneration and helps maintain healthy skin. Plant oils such as soybean, cottonseed and sunflower and products made from them are the richest sources of Vitamin E. Nuts, wheat germ and green, leafy vegetables are other good sources.

Vitamin C (found abundantly in citrus fruits, tomatoes, broccoli, cantaloupe, berries, cabbage and asparagus) promotes healthy skin, as well. You should also drink plenty of water, exercise regularly and get proper rest to keep your skin healthy and vibrant.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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