DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school girl being raised by my single mother. I also have two twin sisters who are six years younger than I am.

My mother has an executive job and makes a decent salary, enough to support all four of us pretty well, I must admit. But I feel that my mom brings her executive attitude into our home regularly. For example, there are times when I'll ask her if I can go out to see friends of mine or go hang out at a nearby lake with my friends for a barbecue on a Saturday afternoon. She often will not give me permission to do these things, and when I ask her why not, she'll say, "The boss says no!" And if I try to ask her a different way or make another comment, she will simply repeat, "The boss says no!"

Not only is this weird, but it makes me feel like I'm an employee at her business instead of her daughter in her home! I totally don't understand it, and she will not engage in any reasonable discussion, nor will she give me any logical reasons why she makes these seemingly random decisions. I say "random" because there are a few times I'll ask her for something that I think she's going to decline and she'll surprise me by saying, "We can allow that."

I think it's bizarre that she uses the word "we" because it's actually her decision, not a collective company policy or something. What can I do about all of this? Should I just keep asking for things I want to do and accept her answers in the random sequence she answers them? Or is there a way to reach her on a more family level rather than a corporate level? — Mom Says She's the Boss, via email

MOM SAYS SHE'S THE BOSS: Any parent, corporate mom or not, is unwise to not explain her reasoning in a common, logical fashion.

Not only is that more conducive to family harmony, but it lets the teenager — in this case you — know what the underlying logic is between a yes and a no answer. One of the hallmark tenants I always impress upon parents who discuss their teenagers with me is that the key to family harmony is mutual respect, open communication and trust.

Ironically, the corporate world also runs best using those same three principles. See if you can make contact with an aunt, uncle, grandparent or any other family member or close family friend who may be able to speak tactfully to your mother regarding this topic.

Running a family in the manor you've described as your mother's modus operandi is not the optimal way to ensure family harmony, respect and cohesiveness.

GRANDPA DROPPED A POTENTIALLY ATTRACTIVE OFFER ON ME

DR. WALLACE: My grandfather is still a young man, and he runs a very successful company in our area. I've always had a great relationship with this particular grandfather, so the other day when Grandpa pulled me aside and told me he wanted to talk to me privately, I was surprised but interested to hear what he had to say.

Basically, he told me that he was impressed with how I handle myself and how well I'm doing at school, and he mentioned that I'll graduate high school in about six months. He made an offer to me to pay for my entire college education, including my books, tuition, apartment and living expenses. Of course there was a catch, and I discovered that he wants me to take a particular field of study that would prepare me to work in his specific business.

I was really surprised, and I thanked him deeply for the offer and told him I would give it serious consideration over the next few weeks. I've thought a lot about it, and I can see both sides of the opportunity. On the one hand, I would have a full ride to go to college and have it completely paid for.

But on the other hand, I would have to agree to study the field that he's in and be prepared upon graduation to start working at his company. He did mention that after a couple of years working for him, he wouldn't hold me to staying at his business for a long period of time unless I specifically wanted to do so, and that seemed fair enough.

Part of me also wants to ask him about my younger brother and sister, but they're both still in grade school, with the oldest being in sixth grade, so that issue is kind of moot at this point. Instead of telling me whether or not I should take Grandpa up on his offer, I'd rather ask, how would you advise me to go about making this decision? — It's a Spectacular Offer, via email

IT'S A SPECTACULAR OFFER: Start by immediately imagining that his offer did not exist, and genuinely think about what you would be doing with your life after you graduate high school this spring or early summer. Is there a field or an endeavor you've always wanted to try? What are your personal skillsets? What career path do you think would be best for you in the long run? Were you planning on going to college or not before your grandpa approached you?

These are some of the things I would encourage you to consider. You should absolutely discuss this with your peers, meaning your friends at school, any significant other you're dating, your parents and any of your teachers that you are close enough to be comfortable explaining the offer to.

Life is all about timing, seizing opportunities when they develop, or having the fortitude to forge your own path when you know deep in your heart and soul what you want to do with your life. Gather all this information the best you can over the next several weeks, think about it, and even grab a spiral notebook and write down a list of the pros and cons as you see them, immediately as you think of each one.

Occasionally go back and read your notes from the previous week or two to see what you wrote at that moment and how you are feeling about that topic two or three weeks down the line. All of this should help you come to a conclusion.

My final bit of advice would be that if you still feel unsure as to what to do after very careful consideration, speaking to many people, and searching yourself thoroughly, I would accept Grandpa's offer. Only if you feel strongly that you want to do something else, or there is some other limiting factor, should you decline his offer. My reason for saying this is that he's not holding you to working any longer than a few years, so if it doesn't work out for you for any reason, you'll have a college education in your pocket and some great work experience, and your life and career will still be readily available to you in another direction if needed.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Ryoji Iwata at Unsplash