Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids by Dr. Sylvia Rimm

Q: School shootings have been in the national news for several weeks in a row. It's starting to give me serious anxiety about dropping my kids off in the morning at their elementary school. My 6-year-old son is very sensitive, and he sees me fighting back tears and taking deep breaths when he gets out of our van in the morning. I can barely keep it together to pull away from the curb without crying. How do I protect him from developing my fears about school safety?

A: Every person in the nation was shocked at the school shooting in Connecticut and many parents continue to feel concerned as they send their children off to school. Although children haven't completely forgotten the shooting, most go to school with the same feelings of safety that they've always felt. Some sensitive children who have watched the news are fearful and need parent support and encouragement. You can tell them that millions of school children go to school every single day and they are very safe.

Schools continue to be the safest place in the nation for almost all children, and as a parent, it's crucial for you to know that it is very important that you convey that message to your children. It's probably not a good idea to remind your son that he's at much more risk of dying riding in your van on the way to school than he is actually being in school, because that will only worry him about the car rides.

It is most important for you, as mother, to put your child's risk in perspective. With time, I'm sure your anxiety will diminish, but for now, you owe it to your children to put on a good act. As you pack those kids into your van, don't even let yourself think about the horror of a school shooting. Replace those awful images with visions of the fun your 6-year-old will have in school that day. Ask to volunteer in the classroom so you can witness the safe and fun learning environment that surrounds the children.

All of us were stunned by this terrible act by a very sick man.

For a free newsletter about fears and fearful children, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope for each newsletter to address below.

Student Mentors Can Be Helpful

Q: How important is the role of a student mentor for children?

A: Schools often have student mentor programs because other students are helpful for tutoring, organizing and explaining material to their fellow students who need extra help. Also, children seem to be less fearful about asking questions of peers rather than adults. These programs are not only helpful to those students seeking help, but they build confidence, leadership and skills in the mentors. Guiding other students can actually teach the teacher. I often suggest that underachieving students find opportunities to help younger children. It permits them to see the importance of good habits for achievement and allows them to build confidence. In mentoring underachievers, it's best to select achieving student mentors or there is a risk that they will only learn to copy their mentor's work and continue to underachieve.

For a free newsletter about the importance of role models and mentors, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope and a note on topic choice for each newsletter to address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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