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As Is
DEAR SUSAN: I guess that at this stage of life (age 63), I'm willing to be the exact same man a woman wants, as long as that doesn't involve change. Sounds kind of selfish at first hearing, but I expect to return the favor — or not find her …Read more.
Courage
DEAR SUSAN: If, as you believe, courage is the passport from old stale patterns, then only the brave are sure to get their dreams fulfilled. But if the answers to our questions are inside us, why don't we just take a peek? — From the …Read more.
Womanstrong
DEAR SUSAN: Your quiz question about whether strong, assertive women turn men off made me write to you. Even men with assertive, strong mothers seem to like women who are bubbly and interesting without being too independent. Often, it is hard for me …Read more.
Woman Defined
DEAR SUSAN: You asked us whether men and women can be friends or whether they're too dissimilar. I find that men I've already had relationships with may continue to be friends with me — but at an arm's length. The emotional closeness in a …Read more.
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Sorting Sex, Part 1The best way to do these questions justice is to read them through in one sitting, let them marinate awhile and then read them again and give your responses. Some may trigger immediate responses; others take more thought. But however you approach this exercise, please do not give the pat answer; search deeper for your real belief. Oh, another thing: If you so choose, this is for your eyes only. —How do you feel about sex outside marriage? Does your religion, upbringing or personal morality make it out of bounds? Would denying those inner controls upset you so much that sexual activity in any form would be regretted? —If you can enjoy sex outside marriage, how do you feel about sex outside caring? —Would you get involved with someone even if you knew it was to be for a very short time — perhaps only one night? Under what circumstances? —Can you imagine having sex on the very first date? If so, what ingredients would be needed? If not, when is a reasonable amount of time to begin sexual involvement? —Ideally, how often would you like to have sex? How long can you go without it? —Can you imagine having a married lover? Why or why not? —Would consider having a sexual relationship with multiple lovers? (This deals with plural ongoing relationships, not group sex.) —Do you enjoy periods of celibacy? For how long? Are you ever concerned about losing your sex drive? —What do you think about giving yourself sexual pleasure? Masturbation is still taboo for some, but it's an issue you should resolve, given the episodic nature of sex in the unmarried world. —If you are sexually active, have you settled on a safe and effective method of contraception? —What do you most appreciate about sex? What makes it wonderful for you? —Do you/would you ask a new partner his/her history of sexually transmitted disease before becoming intimate, even though it may be embarrassing? —How do you plan to handle pressure from a date (or a partner) to have sex when you'd rather not? —If you're a single parent, are you clear about your policy about sleepover lovers? Have you a way of separating the fulfillment of your adult needs from those of your children? How explicitly do you talk to your children about your own sexual fulfillment? —Do you feel comfortable telling your partner (in detail) the pleasure points you enjoy most? —How strongly do you feel about the answers you have given here? What, if anything, would change your mind about them? —Do you feel you could adapt your sexual attitudes to make yourself more comfortable while unmarried? If so, what changes would you make? You may want to talk out some of the questions with a close friend, especially when they defy resolution.
Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at sumor123@aol.com. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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