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As Is
DEAR SUSAN: I guess that at this stage of life (age 63), I'm willing to be the exact same man a woman wants, as long as that doesn't involve change. Sounds kind of selfish at first hearing, but I expect to return the favor — or not find her …Read more.
Courage
DEAR SUSAN: If, as you believe, courage is the passport from old stale patterns, then only the brave are sure to get their dreams fulfilled. But if the answers to our questions are inside us, why don't we just take a peek? — From the …Read more.
Womanstrong
DEAR SUSAN: Your quiz question about whether strong, assertive women turn men off made me write to you. Even men with assertive, strong mothers seem to like women who are bubbly and interesting without being too independent. Often, it is hard for me …Read more.
Sorting Sex, Part 1
The best way to do these questions justice is to read them through in one sitting, let them marinate awhile and then read them again and give your responses. Some may trigger immediate responses; others take more thought. But however you approach …Read more.
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Partnership RevisitedThere's something new in the world of romance. No, not a new phrase, not a faddish sex toy or a startling new sexual position — none of the above. What I'm discovering — yes, still in the process — is that thinking lovers are changing the rules of engagement. After eons of assuming nonstop togetherness is essential to enduring love, gutsy love partners have come upon something new, radical and successful. This shift isn't away from true love. Not at all. Their alteration to love partnership is spacing their togetherness. Out the window go ye olde ingredients of 21st-century rules. And to those who say that even the truest of loves can't survive apartness, I say phooey! What today's lovers have discovered is that the real thing is actually enhanced, even nourished, by spaced intervals. Make no mistake; I'm not talking about monthslong absence. I mean that a few hours' time on their own sharpens partners' zest for each other, giving their relatedness — and their lovemaking — a new beginning. The concept of separate but committed first came to my attention reading about the marriage of Paulette Goddard, a beauty who starred in many Charlie Chaplin movies. After that part of her life ended, she went on to marry film director Erich von Stroheim, with whom she lived — well, sort of. The couple moved in to the same apartment house — but on different floors. They had lighted buttons in their respective foyers, which they activated to signal occupancy. They would call upon each other on request — and only then.
And don't imagine that timeouts are only for the young. I know a middle-aged woman who insists on seeing her beloved on weekends only. The reason? To enjoy her own schedule, in addition to the one imposed on her on Saturday and Sunday, to enjoy the company of her friends and do what she wants when she wants, with friends of her choice. She laid down the law to her partner, and he acceded graciously (perhaps also relieved). I know of another romance that included nearly two decades of courtship, during which time the (wise) woman in question kept her own apartment. Even now, after the nuptials, that space affords total privacy to sort out stress. That double life may not be your idea of undependence. To each his own. But total saturation — even in a loving, nurturing relationship — isn't conducive to getting the most out of togetherness. Even the most respectful lovers need time off. Don't you agree? Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at sumor123@aol.com. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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