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As Is
DEAR SUSAN: I guess that at this stage of life (age 63), I'm willing to be the exact same man a woman wants, as long as that doesn't involve change. Sounds kind of selfish at first hearing, but I expect to return the favor — or not find her …Read more.
Womanstrong
DEAR SUSAN: Your quiz question about whether strong, assertive women turn men off made me write to you. Even men with assertive, strong mothers seem to like women who are bubbly and interesting without being too independent. Often, it is hard for me …Read more.
Sorting Sex, Part 1
The best way to do these questions justice is to read them through in one sitting, let them marinate awhile and then read them again and give your responses. Some may trigger immediate responses; others take more thought. But however you approach …Read more.
Woman Defined
DEAR SUSAN: You asked us whether men and women can be friends or whether they're too dissimilar. I find that men I've already had relationships with may continue to be friends with me — but at an arm's length. The emotional closeness in a …Read more.
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CourageDEAR SUSAN: If, as you believe, courage is the passport from old stale patterns, then only the brave are sure to get their dreams fulfilled. But if the answers to our questions are inside us, why don't we just take a peek? — From the "Single File" blog DEAR BLOGGER: The answer is fear, brother — old-fashioned, heart-stabbing, unadulterated panic, the thought of discovering the truth (from our very own mouths, no less) concerning the innermost reasons that we do what we do. Why is that dreary self-image still running our lives when we thought we'd outgrown it? The thought of discovering why we do the things we do is an open invitation to enter into battle with our preconceptions. Who on earth wants to do that? Who would willingly open old wounds for the sake of coming up with new patterns that might (no guarantee) lead to better solutions? The scars are already healed (at least superficially), and besides, we're used to the burden. And hey, it's no picnic to locate, build and then change our thought patterns about the people we see and the dreams we once had. When you boil the idea down to its essence, where's the fun in working yourself into a sweat once a week in front of a total stranger?! Sure, a therapist tries to be friendly and reassure you that the gain is worth the pain, but it's expensive and probably not covered by insurance. Still, I've been noticing lately that my life isn't adding up to what I thought it would, and I probably have a lot to do with that. It is my life, after all, and we only get one go-round. DEAR SUSAN: I'd like to respond to the woman who took her man back knowing he was a cheater.
1) Does he/she express genuine remorse? 2) Is she/he genuinely sympathetic about the impact her/his cheating has had on you? This is the crux of whether both of you can get past this. 3) Most importantly, has she/he had therapy or personal growth education for the purpose of understanding the reasons for her/his actions? If not, she/he has probably not changed and will most likely cheat again to meet her/his unhealthy needs. — "One Who Has Cheated and Been Cheated On" DEAR OWHCABCO: Never having cheated or (knowingly) been cheated on in my adulthood, this is entering a strange new land for this advice maven. But on second thought, it just could be that the cheating heart and its attendant emotions have struck a familiar chord in my memory. That's because in 12th grade, just before entering the brave new world of college, I dated — or tried to date — my steady's best friend. I thought I could have it all — two good-lookers who could keep my actions to themselves and not ruin what I thought was a rare and beautiful experience. And as it turned out, it was, indeed, a rare happening. Of course, as you suspect, I lost the affection of both and had to return my steady's pin and bracelet. Oh, the tears that flowed. On my part, that is. The men seemed to take it quite in stride, darn them. I was wrong; I was a cheater. It was painful, but it was memorable. Thanks for your primer, born of pain. It does tend to sear tawdry episodes into the heart, no? Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at sumor123@aol.com. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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