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Susan Deitz


Never Gets Old DEAR SUSAN: I love you more than I did before! Your response to a lovely sounding writer recently was supreme! Sometimes you offer readers a few possible angles to their issues, but this time, you gave her only one answer — and gave it to her …Read more. Body Language DEAR SUSAN: I finally ended a long marriage that was filled with lies, cheating and mental and verbal abuse. (It took years for the divorce to become final.) My therapist, children, other family members and friends are encouraging me to start dating …Read more. Warning Signals DEAR SUSAN: For four months, I've been writing to a man on an online dating site. We're both single, and he knows I'm already hung up on him. But now he says he doesn't want to write to me as often as before because it isn't fun anymore. What can I …Read more. Abstinence DEAR SUSAN: Another reason for abstinence is availability. It's not easy to find someone attractive who isn't already having sex with someone else — and has no desire for meaningless sex. — From the "Single File" blog DEAR BLOGGER: I'm …Read more.
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Growth Charts


DEAR READERS: I dare you to tackle these open-ended thoughts about being single. They come from the opening pages of my book "Single File," but even if you've already answered them there, it might be worth your time to see the changes in your outlook since then. In fact, you might consider your responses to these same ticklers a measure of your development since then, an informal growth chart.

—When I tell people I'm single, I feel:

—When I say I'm not married, they must think:

—I like being single less/more than I did a year ago because:

—If I knew for sure I'd live the rest of my life single:

—Single people have more fun because:

—If I could change one thing about my life, it would be:

—The one thing singleness keeps me from doing is:

—When my single friends get together, we talk about:

—If I could describe single life in one word, it would be:

—The most important reason to get married is:

—I would/would not consider becoming an unmarried father/mother because:

The following require a flat "yes" or "no," challenging you to squeeze your response into a single word.

Every pun intended.

—People are born independent or not; nothing can be done to change it.

—An interesting, full life leads to lifelong singleness.

—Men don't like independent women.

—A woman is incomplete without a man.

—Being single means being second-class in society.

—My family is embarrassed because I'm not married.

—Independence leads to loneliness.

—Everyone desirable is already married. The good ones are already taken.

—Being married is better than being single.

—True happiness is found only in marriage.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at



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Susan Deitz
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