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Choosing Between a Spouse and the Other Woman
Dear John, Although I am married, I have done without love and romance for years. Recently I met Cindy, who has rekindled feelings that I had repressed. It is like a new awakening for me! Feelings that I thought were lost have returned. The problem …Read more.
Husband Is Old-School
Dear John, My husband Jack is of the "old school." He thinks that husbands should be cared for and waited on, and I've done this for 37 years. Well, I can't do it all anymore. I have fibromyalgia, which causes acute muscle pain and getting …Read more.
Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Hear About Ex
Dear John, After a long marriage to a drug addict, I found the courage to leave. Although I am no longer in love with him, I do wish him all the best, just without me in the picture. My grown daughter resents my leaving. My grown son, however, is …Read more.
Girlfriend Wants a Break
Dear John, I have been in a fantastic relationship for over two years. My girlfriend, "Carol," has two younger girls, who are great kids. I have two teenage girls who seem to be going through a lot of turmoil over the past couple of months.…Read more.
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Trust Issues Affect RelationshipDear John, I've been seeing Jack for almost two years, and we've been happy. Today, however, I saw his truck parked in another town and I flipped out! I turned around and parked near the truck, and then I waited for about 10 minutes for him to come out. When he didn't, I left to come home. He just called me, and guess what? He saw me out there, and he is very upset by this because he feels that I don't trust him — which is in fact my problem. I did not go out looking for him, but since I saw the truck, I jumped to a bad conclusion. I'm worried that I might have really done it this time! How can I remedy this situation? —Screwed Up in College Station, Tex. Dear Screwed Up, I'm glad that you recognize the fact that you do have trust issues that are affecting your relationship. These may stem from unresolved feelings you have from past relationships — either with this partner, a former partner or a parent's past behavior. Trust is the hardest issue to resolve. You must try to do this, however, if you are ever able to salvage this relationship and move beyond your fears. Start by writing a "feeling letter" in which you'll do the following: 1) acknowledge your anger, 2) express any feelings of sadness from this past hurt and distrust, 3) Face up to your fears and, 4) discuss your future hopes. You should also write a "response letter," which will give you the answers of support you are truly seeking from those who love you now and the ones who have hurt you in the past.
Dear John, Just during this past year I started talking to an ex-boyfriend, Don, who was going through a divorce when his wife was killed in an automobile accident. While we re-connected before the accident, he says he is still in love with her. I know he needs time to recover from her loss, but how do I handle talking to him when he only wants to be friends for now? I try to stay in close contact, but it hasn't worked, and now I don't know what else to do. —In Limbo in Louisville, Ky. Dear In Limbo, Don may have remorse over the break-up and guilt over her death. This is affecting his perception of that relationship, and of course, his current feelings for any future relationships. He will need time to rationalize his loss and its impact on his life going forward. Give him time. You have already offered your support. If and when he is ready, he will reach out to you. In the meantime, live your life to the fullest — with or without Don. 2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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