Dear John, I've been dating "Don" for three months. He proposed a month after we met, and we are going to get married as soon as his divorce is finalized. Don moved in with my roommate and me so that we could begin saving for a house. At that time, he suggested I get rid of anything that I don't need. He went through all my personal diaries, read them and destroyed them. He also dumped pictures of ex-boyfriends. I'm a grown woman, yet Don is shocked that I've had six relationships in my life! He also checks all my cell phone calls and shows up when I don't expect him. Now he's talking of having children immediately even though we're not yet married. What should I do? —Concerned, in Santa Monica, Calif.

Dear Concerned, Get out. Now.

Many of the actions you've described indicate that Don could be an emotionally abusive person. People who have no respect for your property or privacy lack a basic respect for you. Do yourself a favor and remove yourself from this relationship as fast as possible.

This may be easier to do when someone else is around, such as a family member or your roommate. You can make it clear that things are moving too fast for you and that his actions are not consistent with those of a partner you are seeking. Your voice should be calm. Don't express anger or blame, just your resolution about your decision

We all make mistakes. The important thing is to try not to marry them. It's time to say goodbye to Don.

Dear John, My husband and I have been married almost two years. We are both in our 40s, and this is not the first marriage for either of us. There are many times when we go three or four weeks without having sex. I've talked to him about this, and he says that there are more important things than sex, like holding each other, which we do. I agree with that, but I miss having regular sex! —Advice Needed, in Bridgeport, Conn.

Dear Needed, We are creatures of habit. Sex is a habit, and a good one at that. If you get out of the habit, you may have a harder time refocusing your energy in that direction, but taking the effort to do so is worth the time.

To get him back in the mood, stay away from guilt trips or you'll just put him on the defensive, which will make him more reluctant to participate. Instead, move back into "date" mode. Dress for romance, and help him relax.

If his resistance continues, remind him that you love him and that he is desirable to you. Then ask him to participate in an honest discussion about any issues he may be having. If he denies having any, suggest that he consider taking a physical and talking to his physician. Romance doesn't just happen. There are times we have to work to get it right.

2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.