Ethnically Speaking by Larry Meeks

Dear Larry: I am a 35-year-old mother of two boys and one girl. The two boys are 9 and 6. My daughter is 3. My friends with older children are in real trouble with their children. Many of their children are out of control, running the streets and addicted to drugs.

My friends tell me that if there were one thing they could change about their children, it would be getting them off drugs. Because of that statement, I have a morbid fear of my little ones becoming addicted.

I get up in the morning and pray they will be safe. I speak the evils of drugs to them every chance I get. My boyfriend told me I am obsessing about this. He said his drug use does not keep him from succeeding in life.

Larry, that shocked me. I must be a real "dumb bunny" or plain stupid, because I didn't know my boyfriend used drugs. We have only been together six months. During all that time, I had no idea of his drug use.

Now I am wondering how he makes his money. He says he is in the money-lending business. He doesn't have a permanent office. He says he makes personal loans to people who seek him out. 

I have two questions. One: Should I suspect my boyfriend is dealing drugs? Two: What is the best thing I should do to keep my children drug-free? — Dumb Bunny

Dear Bunny: Please do not put yourself down. There are a lot of people in this world who do not know others are using drugs. I am sure I will hear from readers who were deceived just like you.

Regarding your first question, I believe you should be suspicious of everything your boyfriend does, especially being some kind of dealer. Whatever he is doing to make his money, I suspect it is illegal.

Your second question is more complex. The following are my suggestions for raising drug-free children:

1.

Be a living example — never use drugs. You cannot fool children. If you use drugs, they will find out. Never do one thing and say another. If there is a difference in what you say and what you do, your children will follow your behavior.

2. Do not tolerate anyone in your life who uses drugs. That includes boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, siblings, neighbors and acquaintances. Let it be known that if someone uses drugs, he or she is not welcome in your environment.

3. To the extent possible, live in a drug-free neighborhood. Send your child to the school with the lowest drug use. Every child who uses drugs got his or her start from someone.

4. Limit your child's freedom. Be nosy and in your child's business. Do not let them have great amounts of idle time. Be involved. Show up at your child's activity unexpected. There is no such thing as your child's bedroom being off-limits to the parent. Adopt the philosophy to trust, but verify.

5. Be suspicious of odd behaviors. You do not have to be an expert in psychology to sense quirky behaviors. If you do not understand why someone, your child or others, is behaving strangely, suspect drugs until you find out differently. Lean on the side of caution.

6. Do not allow the media to glamorize drugs. Censor what movies they watch on the big screen and television. Do not allow drug-addicted music artists, stars or athletes to become their heroes. Do your best to expose your children to heroes that reflect your values.

7. Make religion a priority in their life. However, be careful because many a child got their first introduction to drugs at a church function.

My last suggestion is to continue to pray, because nothing works 100 percent. If your child succumbs, do not give up or abandon them. Staying involved in their life will help them lose their addiction.

Losing their addiction is another story and too long for this column.

To find out more about Larry Meeks, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2007 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.