Dear Margo: Help! My sister-in-law and her family are crazy. We recently moved to a different state where they live. I have no issues with my brother-in-law, but his wife and family are driving me nuts.

I noticed certain things right away as soon as we got to this place. She always wanted to know what we were up to (what I bought, what we're planning, etc.). Well, lately we have been invited to a couple parties at their place and declined for valid reasons.

Long story short, I have been hearing a lot of complaints as to why we don't go to their place, that I am jealous, that I am imitating her, trying to buy the same things she has and competing with her. It even came to a point where I had to cancel my account on MySpace because she kept answering quotes that I posted with other quotes. (If I had a quote on envy, she would answer it with a quote on envy/jealousy.)

I don't know what to do. I want to confront her to shut her up, but that would mean a mess with my brother-in-law. What do you think? Should I just keep ignoring her until she gets tired? — Victim of a Headcase

Dear Vic: I do think you should ignore her, but don't expect her to "get tired." This kind of person is not wrapped real tight, and her barbed, self-involved approach to you is all she's got to work with. You will probably wind up disappointing her in terms of what she believes is expected of family, but so be it. — Margo, obliviously

A Simple "No" Will Do It

Dear Margo: About four years ago, my ex-boyfriend left me for another woman. At the time I was three months' pregnant. It was hard at first, but over time, it got easier for me to go on with my life.

He comes around every now and again, but I can't stand to be in the same room with him. He is married and has another child. When he comes over to visit our son, he starts flirting with me, touching me and trying to rub my feet. He keeps telling me he is sorry for everything he put me through and he wants to make me happy.

I keep telling him that we are not together anymore and the past is, well, past (though I worry that I may still have feelings for him). He even tries to get information about how many guys I've dated. I tell him to stop, and there have been times I've asked him to leave my house.

My question to you is, what to do? — Stressed-Out Mom

Dear Stress: Your situation is not uncommon. Your ex wants both of you

. . . you and the wife. As for how to deal with his advances, for one thing, wear shoes when he visits. Also, make it plain you do not welcome his advances and those days are over. If you sound like you mean it, he will hear it that way.

And should you waver, just remind yourself that he dumped you when you were pregnant with his child. As for his questions, tell him it's none of his business.

I suggest you work on creating a new social life for yourself, and as your son gets older, they can do father-son things out of the house. — Margo, firmly

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.