creators home
creators.com lifestyle web
Ann Landers

Recently

RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We have a wonderful marriage and two terrific children. The problem I am writing about involves my husband's brother. He is gay. "Rick" is a great person and a devoted uncle to our …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I never have cheated on my wife and am absolutely certain that I never will. We have been married for five wonderful years, and our marriage is rock solid. Here's the problem: About a year ago, during a moment of passion, I …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: My sister is a dwarf and has been confined to a wheelchair for the past nine years. Since I was a small child, I have hated the ignorance with which she is treated. Even when she was able to walk, people would stare at her, step …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: My son's father has taken a permanent leave of absence from our lives. "Arthur" and I divorced when my son was 6. He is now 11. After the divorce, Arthur was supposed to have custody of our son every weekend. The court order said …Read more.
more articles

RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2014

Comment

Dear Ann Landers: Our daughter, who is away at college, is suffering from depression. She is on medication and seeing a therapist at school.

"Maya's" first semester was a nightmare, partly because her father refused to let her come home to visit, even though the college is only three hours away. I finally overruled him and insisted she drive home for the weekend. I could see how debilitating the depression was.

If Maya cannot survive another semester and wants to come home, I don't know what my husband will do. We have been married for 20 years, and he is getting harder and harder to deal with. I'm tired of arguing with him, but I have to stand up for my daughter. Not every child can be sent away from home at age 18 and cope. If anything should happen to her, I never would forgive myself.

Should I bring Maya home and tell her to go to school in town, or do you think my husband is right in saying she should tough it out? — Virginia Beach Mom

Dear Virginia Beach: If your daughter is on medication, she must have a doctor who prescribed it. Consult with him about whether Maya should tough it out. She sounds emotionally fragile, and this could push her over the edge.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband has been clinically depressed for most of his adult life. A while back, "Herman" began seeing a female therapist who focused on my husband's early years to see whether something in his childhood might be the cause of his depression. His therapist discovered that during adolescence, Herman had been a cross-dresser.

He apparently had worn women's clothing in his early teens but repressed it as an adult.

Now Herman wants my permission to express this part of his personality around the house. He says he would not go out in public.

This disgusts me, Ann. The thought of my husband in makeup, wig and high heels makes my skin crawl. His therapist told me I need to be more tolerant. She doesn't seem to think his behavior is abnormal or sick.

Herman is artistic and sensitive, a gourmet cook and an avid sportsman. More importantly, he is a terrific father to our two sons. I used to think he was the most masculine man alive. Now I don't see how I ever can look at him the same way or stop wondering whether he is gay. I don't want to break up our marriage, but if anyone found out about the makeup, wigs and high heels, I would be devastated. I need your advice. — N. Carolina

Dear N. Carolina: You need to have a better understanding of your husband's cross-dressing. Herman is a transvestite. Some transvestites are gay, but many are not. They get their thrills from dressing up in women's clothing, but that's as far as it goes. Please go to the public library and read up on the subject. The more you know the less you will fear it.

Forget to save some of your favorite Ann Landers columns? "Nuggets and Doozies" is the answer. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM



Comments

0 Comments | Post Comment
Already have an account? Log in.
New Account  
Your Name:
Your E-mail:
Your Password:
Confirm Your Password:

Please allow a few minutes for your comment to be posted.

Enter the numbers to the right:  
Creators.com comments policy
More
Ann Landers
Nov. `14
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
26 27 28 29 30 31 1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 1 2 3 4 5 6
About the author About the author
Write the author Write the author
Printer friendly format Printer friendly format
Email to friend Email to friend
View by Month