Q: I'm a professional who researches product complaints before they get sent to our company's legal department. We have about 75 employees, ranging from new hires to those with 25 years under their belts; I have been there for five. Even though we have too many to consider us a family business, the company has a family feel to it.

One of the longtime employees died of a heart attack over the weekend. It was a shock to everyone because she hadn't been ill or even had a known heart condition. The old-time employees were deeply affected, as they had worked together for many years and had developed personal friendships with each other. The woman was from a different department than I, so I didn't know her other than to say "hi" as we passed in the hallways.

I politely expressed my sympathy to the older women whom I knew were her friends, as did other employees who were not close to her. The older employees have been openly upset all week, and the atmosphere has been solemn. Yesterday, my close co-worker and I were laughing over a situation that arose. We are high-energy and have heavy workloads, so we have continued with our work, as we should. We weren't extremely loud or causing a ruckus, but some of the older women in earshot gave us stern, disapproving looks, like we were behaving inappropriately. We immediately stopped laughing, but we felt they were the ones being inappropriate. It seems crazy for us to fake sadness and join in this solemn mood since we don't feel it. Are we being disrespectful to not act sad? If we do have to, how long is expected? The atmosphere is heavy and the energy from these women is very low, so I imagine they are not accomplishing a lot during this period. I would think the company would honor the person who has passed on but want employees to continue working as usual.

A: Hearing of the sudden death of a co-worker is always a shock for the people at work, but individuals will never feel the loss and experience the person's death with the same emotion. All are expected to react in a solemn manner at the news of the death, but clearly those who were closer to the woman will feel the loss more intensely. If these women are generations older than you, they may be experiencing fear, as well as the loss of their friend and co-worker, thinking that it could have been any one of them. More women die of heart attacks than breast cancer, even though breast cancer organizations receive greater attention.

You do not have to fake being sad. You have said your condolences to the woman's friends/co-workers; now you have the right to resume your work and behave as you would during your normal workday. If you notice continued looks of disapproval, you can again gently express your understanding at how hard it must be to lose a longtime colleague. Death is a sensitive subject regardless of the loss. Say as little as possible, and temporarily tone down your fun-filled moods when these women are nearby. They will heal from the loss and move on, but a week is just too soon when you've know a person for 25 years.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @I_truly_care. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Website at www.creators.com.