Q: Frustrated with my new boss who has been with the company for just one month, I filed a formal complaint with our human resources department regarding her lack of communication and her unequal division of work among the employees in our department. The HR mediator was far more sympathetic to my new boss than to me. She would begin to explain my boss' side and then allow my boss to finish the explanation. She clearly agreed with my boss, which seemed unnatural to me since a mediator is supposed to be objective when hearing both sides.

In this mediation, I explained that my boss assigned me far more work than my co-workers, who had plenty of time to take their breaks and lunch, while I was so overloaded with work I had to skip them. Additionally, the extra assignments were far more related to my co-workers' positions than to mine. Both the mediator and my boss told me it was "not professional" that I interject myself into the matters of my co-workers, that I was a "tattletale" and should mind my own business. They agreed that I was not allowed to "choose" what I wanted to do, that was the boss' decision.

I was so disheartened I remained quiet for the rest of the mediation and went back to my desk. What should I do now?

A: You broke the cardinal rule of going over your boss' head without first talking to her about the situation. Your lack of direct communication shows absolute disrespect for your boss and ultimately, jeopardizes her employment, as she is a new employee. You didn't even allow her time to settle into her new job and get to know you. HR was probably as shocked by your lack of communication with your boss as it was by your immediate complaint. Put yourself in your boss' position: You start a new job and within a month, one of your employees runs to HR to complain about your management skills.

Now you will have to repair a relationship you never allowed to develop, and it won't be easy. You need to show both HR and your boss that you realize you are guilty of the very complaint you expressed about your new boss — her lack of communication. Rank-and-file employees have the same responsibility as bosses do when it comes to clear communication.

Any complaint about a boss or a work-related situation should first be expressed politely to that boss. It's not wise to present information in a threatening manner, which immediately places the boss on the defensive. After explaining things, the boss then has the opportunity to respond, which may not be immediate.

In the conversation you should have had before rushing to HR, you could have asked if some of the work could be reassigned to others since you were swamped. Perhaps within that first month, she had more confidence in you completing the work, something that could have worked to your advantage in the future.

You owe your boss a sincere apology for your impulsive reaction to the situation; admit you were overreactive in reporting her to HR without first presenting the problem to her. It takes a big person to say I'm sorry and mean it, but more important is that you understand why your action was a knee-jerk response. You saw your co-workers enjoying time you no longer had and you were jealous.

When you experience frustration or anger, talk it out with yourself, your wise friends, and possibly your family (family members are often not the best advisors since they are biased). Take whatever time you need to understand the "why" behind your feelings. The real lesson is this: Think about possible repercussions before you act, always.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @The LindseyNovak. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.