Depressed and Dependent: A Moral Quagmire Dear Annie: My father recently passed away. Dad was helping to support my 43-year-old brother, "Ben," who suffers from depression and is on disability. Ben doesn't work and spends a great deal of time in bed or buying liquor and lottery tickets. He'…Read more. Pickers, Blowers and Other People You Don't Want To Eat With Dear Annie: My husband and I meet up with a group of family and close friends every week for lunch. One couple in this group (a close family member and her spouse) constantly blow their noses during our get-togethers. They use cloth handkerchiefs, …Read more. The Last Monday in May Dear Readers: Memorial Day has become a three-day holiday of picnics and cookouts. But there is a reason for this commemoration, so please remember the servicemen and women who died serving their country. Consider visiting a veterans hospital or …Read more. Hating on Haters Dear Annie: I work in an office with 35 women, and it seems as though someone is always hating someone else. Right now, I am the target of two women. One of these women used to be my friend, and I have no idea why she isn't any longer. I once asked …Read more.more articles
Parenting as Mushy as the Mashed Potatoes
Dear Annie: My grandfather passed away last month, and the wake was catered by a close friend of the family who owns a restaurant. He closed off a section of his dining hall for our family.
The meal included 15 children under the age of 10, and they were absolute monsters. My nephew threw his shoe across the room and then tripped a waitress. These kids crawled under the tables, poking us with forks and smearing food into the carpet. My cousin's 8-year-old daughter put open condiment packets in my purse and a baked potato in my mother's coat pocket and then mashed it into the fabric.
People from the other area of the restaurant complained after my nephew threw food at them. My husband and I left, leaving a large tip for the servers. Other relatives did the same. The dining room was an utter disaster. Before we left town the next morning, my husband and I stopped by the restaurant and left additional money for the inconvenience of cleaning food out of the carpet. My grandmother asked the owner for a full bill of the damage and presented it to those children whose offspring made the mess. It started a huge family row, and of course, nobody is taking responsibility for their kids.
I've never seen such appalling behavior, and I doubt my grandfather would have appreciated such disrespect. My husband and I are tempted to send the restaurant owner an anonymous money order because we doubt he will otherwise be compensated.
My parents are supposed to have their 50th anniversary party at this restaurant next month, and the guest list is almost identical. They're too embarrassed to go, but don't want to lose their deposit. Should I send the money order? Whatever happened to manners? — Shocked Granddaughter
Dear Shocked: They apparently got stuck with the mashed potatoes. What terrible behavior from the parents who allowed their children to run amok.
We think your parents should go ahead with their plans to celebrate at that restaurant but issue invitations only to the adults. Children who are too immature to behave in public and whose parents refuse to control them should not be included in these events. We suspect your parents paid the cleaning bill, so instead of "donating" money to the restaurant, you might consider doing something special on your folks' behalf.
Dear Annie: Every time I look in the papers, I see articles about wars, death, etc., but never about the homeless, especially homeless children and runaways. Why is that? These children are our future. There seems to be money for everything from new jails to fixing swimming pools, but not a word about money for the homeless. Why? — Frustrated
Dear Frustrated: In the news business, death "sells." Runaways, not so much. But there are articles on the homeless if you look, and shelters are funded through federal, state and city government allocations, as well as by private philanthropy.
You sound like a kind person. Please look for a shelter in your area and volunteer your time. It would be much appreciated.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Cal in Maine," who complained that his grandchildren rarely communicate with him. I have reread and shared that letter many times.
I totally agree with him, as my older grandchildren seem to care little about keeping in touch. But I also now remember how little I cared about keeping in touch with my own grandparents 40 years ago. I guess what goes around comes around. — Lois in Omaha
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